'the words that he spoke made the people assume there wasn't too much left in the upper room'

So, I saw something completely absurd in Philadelphia. It was this. Dave Ramsey would be horrified. I also think it's funny that it's on clearance.

I finally started to read Wuthering Heights, because I only bought it like two years ago since it's a classic I thought I should read. I am not loving it. It's freaking depressing, and I have a tendency to speak in the style of books that I am reading, so watch out for that and be sure to call me on it. Before my flight back from Philadelphia, I bought Glamour because I didn't want to read the book the whole flight. And from Glamour, I learned this: there is a male designer named Chris Benz, who had some tips, including; 'combine stuff you already own in new ways' (I am all over this, mostly because I don't do laundry as often as I should and then I decide things are good enough.), ' try some wild make-up colors...turquoise liner. It's easier to wear than you think (I am definitely all over this-I use an angle brush, water, and eyeshadow to make all kinds of awesome eyeliner colors. I am particularly fond of indigo and bright blue, as they make my eyes look green. Purple is also good, but dark or at least violet, not lavender.), 'there's something so chic about matching everything-jacket, scarf, tights, shoes, everything. This is not for the faint of heart, but you'll look like a true color genius' (I used to do this, and I don't mean like when I was 6, but like, when I was 20. My underthings always matched too. I was super OCD about things sometimes, but you just haven't lived until you've seen a 19 year old girl wearing the Superman shirt from a set of Underoos with red shorts and blue and red socks and red sparkly tennis shoes-they came from The Limited Too. I shopped in the children's dept a lot, as stuff was way cheaper.). Anyway, it was amusing. Also, I totally typed this post like a week and half ago. I am slow. Also, a five year old told me she liked my 'eye stuff' today. Bright eyeliner for the win! Glad I got that off my mind grapes. ;)

"In 1996 God told me to preach the Gospel on cable television in Tucson, Arizona."

I love that this author thought that belonged in her book description; not her about the author, but her book description. Would you buy a book called BIRTH CONTROLS IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!? I kind of love that we live in a world where such a book exists and is apparently written in all caps, and someone on Amazon tagged it 'caplocks are evil.' I really do love it. Also, it costs $135! And someone is selling a used copy, and the description says it was signed by God himself (I can only assume they are making fun of the author, because in her description of her book, she writes that it is an holy-spirit authored tome. Except in all caps, of course.). I think it should be added to all Amazon baby and wedding registries, because I just noticed those buttons and it made me giggle.

So, it's Valentine's Day. In honor of the martyrs, I present this for your amusement. Despite the fact that it drops on April 1st, it does seem to be a real book, as one can purchase it on Amazon. I know what Rachel's getting for Mother's Day!! Also, if anyone can defeat zombie hordes, it's a woman, specifically Elizabeth. I love you dudes.

Musings in the key of G(randma!)

I think it goes without saying that my grandmas are awesome. I look like the one (trust me-my grandfather gave me a picture of my grandma at 14 when I was 15, and I finally knew that I looked something like someone in my family!), and think like the other(although my grandma told me when I was born my mom was like, she has your knees!-but not in a good way). Five summers ago, tragedy struck and my grandma needed some help, so I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with her. We talked a lot and I learned many things about her and my mom's whole family (and also some of her baking secrets). And I realized she understood me, which was cool because I am kind of all over the place sometimes. So I like to think that we're pretty close. She lends me books and we talk about all manner of things. Anyway, today I was working on Christmas presents, because I want to be like Rachel when I grow up and I was looking at my gift ideas for her on Amazon and realized that several of the books I put on her list, or those recommended by Amazon because of other things I have bought her or put on her list, are also on either my Amazon wish list or my shopping list. It's cool to learn stuff. Ask my grandma! Also, someone should purchase a grammar book for me posthaste, as that sentence earlier was incredibly convoluted. I've been reading a ton this summer, just not any literature. I've read no fewer than 45 books since July, but none of them are worth mentioning. I think I'm going to continue the reading, but up the ante on quality. I've bought several reasonably decent books at the second-hand bookstore here because I took a ton of crap in there and got $30 of credit. Yay, books! So now I just need to get around to reading them. I've decided that to further my efforts to better myself, I will read instead of watching boatloads of crappy TV, even though it's now time for new seasons and new shows. So I'm only going to watch shows that I really enjoy this season, instead of continuing to watch shows that I find only mildly interesting. I will watch the pilot episode of new shows that sound interesting and if I'm not hooked, I'm not going to watch the whole first season to give it a chance. I always do that because I keep thinking things have to improve. But anyway, that's my vow to myself, which is silly because now that Shannon has class four nights a week, I could watch crappy TV every day and no one would know.

Wow

I went to the cheap bookstore here in town today at lunch. I don't remember what it is called, but they have random stuff and it's all at least half price. In the case of these gems I found sitting on a table marked "All Items 99 Cents!," some awesomely random stuff. Like a book of photos of James Van Der Beek (marked bio, but I don't think I believe that) and a similar one of photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Behind Van Der Beek's book there was an even larger stack of books of Lee Ann Rimes, but that didn't make it into the photo. Sorry. But seriously, who would buy these, even for ninety-nine cents? Cheesy biographies of cheesy 'teen' 'stars' of the nineties and early '00s. And apparently, in order to get a biography you had to have at least three names in your working name. Also, look at the branding: High Interest Books? Really? That's why ten years later they're still around and only ninety-nine cents?

I took a picture of this in the Current Fiction section because it just struck me as funny. A Garrison Keillor book next to...whatever kind of book this is. Beneath those authors' names it says, "Three all-new stories of sinfully sexy men--and the women who change their wicked ways." The line below the title reads, "Behind every devil is an angel." Now I'm kind of wishing I had bought it. It sounds like a real winner. When I get incredibly bored, or really hyper or happy, I like to read passages from terrible books out loud so I can mock them with my friends and loved ones. Really, it doesn't even have to be books. I did it once with a pamphlet about Mormons and once with an informational packet about birth control (it was very wrong and ridiculous). Also, you know that dude on the cover's friends are going to tease him until the end of time.

Whatever happened to innocuous Superfudge and Ramona and Laura Ingalls Wilder?

So, I've been reading this weekly column on Jezebel where the journalist re-reads a YA book from her youth and reviews it. It's been really interesting and I have not even read or even heard of all the books they've done. But I have come to the realization that, if ever I have a daughter, I am so reading any book that is a YA or adult book before she gets to touch it. Because tons of those books have some sexual content, like people getting raped or masturbating or something (i.e. Julie of the Wolves, anything by VC Andrews, The Clan of the Cave Bear). Some of the worst ones seem to be ones I've not read, but I remember reading Judy Blume's YA books and they were always informative. When I was like 12, I found The Prince of Tides on my mom's bookshelf in her closet and I read it without her even realizing it. It was...disturbing. But anyway, I know my mom did not even look at the books I was reading once I was past like 8 or 9. Thusly, I managed to learn some things. I don't think that was necessarily bad, but I do know that had my parents read what I was reading, I would not have been allowed to read some of it. That is scary to me now, when it would have thrilled me then. But I'll always have Anne of Green Gables.

Yes, I am ONE THOUSAND years old...

I went to the used bookstore today to see if I could find anything good for the trip. Which, not so much. All the books at our used bookstore are old and not so good. Also, easily half the store is romance novels, historical romance novels at that. You walk in and are assaulted by the racks and racks of pinks and peaches and purples. It's kind of scary. It makes me wonder why the people who read romance novels seem to be partial to historical romance. Is it less cheesy that way? I would think it would be cheesier, like with people trying to write in period-appropriate dialogue and winding up sounding ridiculous and stilted. I don't know, I was just wondering. I did, however, find a few Christopher Pike books in the very back room and I totally bought two of them. I loved Christopher Pike books for a little while, somewhere between R.L. Stine and Stephen King. They didn't have my favorite one, which was Remember Me, although they did have Remember Me 2. So I bought Die Softly and The Lost Mind, neither of which have I read. I am a giant nerd. Lately I seem to have picked up a habit of saying that I am [insert random large number here, i.e. 100, 600] years old and like, really, really emphasizing the number. It's kind of weird. People keep not knowing what I am talking about and then I feel old, and then I say weird things.

Young Adult Readings

I noticed earlier that The Face on the Milk Carton was on SoapNet and I couldn't resist watching some of it. I loved that book when I was a kid. I read the first three, and just found out there is a fourth. But I remember liking the first two a lot and thinking the third was so-so. I also distinctly recall being mad about the TV movie because they changed things (other than the fact that the movie combines the first two novels). Like they changed the Springs to the Sands and the Johnsons to the Jessmons for no real reason. How is that a big deal in the movie world? It does make some sense that they took out the twins who were her real little brothers, but I didn't see that when I was a child. And I was mad because her boyfriend Reeve was so much cuter in my head than the dude they cast (he was also Kyle on My So-Called Life). I also recall thinking it was weird that the only people with Southern accents were Sharon Stone and her new sister and even cringing some at the sister's bad acting
(cringing hold up on rewatching). Oops.

My very favorite books when I was a kid were the Anne of Green Gables series. I loved those books so much. I remember that my grandparents gave the set to my cousin for her birthday and I read the back of all of them and really wanted to read them. So when my ninth birthday came a few months later, I also got a set of the books! I was so thrilled. And I read all eight books at least eight times. I learned new words. I was such a nerd. I never looked them up in the dictionary or anything, it was all context clues, so sometimes when I would use these new words I would be a little off. Which, whatever, I was a kid. I do remember that I went through a phase in fourth grade where I said things were queer (I learned it from a book) and I couldn't figure out why my mom would yell at me for saying it. Anyway, I also remember being irritated by the movies based on the first couple of those books. They just didn't fit my mental images.

I still kind of get that way about movies based on books that I've read. Recently I saw Into the Wild and thought, while it did have beautiful scenery, it just wasn't the same as the book. It dragged more than the book, and you can tell that Sean Penn was a little too in love with his subject, where Krakauer obviously saw the folly in McCandless' actions, as well as his reasoning behind them. Penn also saw fit to add an abuse plot for his parents. Which, no, dude. He was a middle-class white kid whose parents made some mistakes(but whose parents didn't?), but there was no abuse. But apparently the real story wasn't exciting enough for Penn. In case you couldn't tell, I don't really care for Sean Penn, as a director or an actor. But that's neither here nor there. On the plus side, Alaska is very pretty.

Migraines ad infinitum

Have you ever run for an hour with a migraine? I now have. And let me tell you, I do not recommend it. By the time I was finished I really wished I would just throw up so I could feel better, but I never did. I'm glad I went even though I felt crappy. And I was nauseated all day Sunday, but I think that was just because I went to my grandma's house on Saturday and so ate like crap because my aunt was there, cooking. But it was good. It's so boring to complain about the same thing all the time, so I've been trying not to whine when my head is pounding. And apparently I am an excellent actress because my parents didn't even know I'd been having chronic migraines again until I told them I'd been back to the neurologist. So, yay for me not being super whiny.
I was making good progress on the book I've been reading, but on Saturday when I went to the gym I decided to take Harry Potter instead because it had been a long week (during which I only missed one day of running) and I deserved some frivolous reading. And then I wound up taking book 2 yesterday. Oops. Shannon's sister lent the books to her, so I'm rereading them since I read them a long time ago. And I'm a giant nerd. Yeah, despite what I said about not reading real books at the gym, I have been taking The Executioner's Song with me. It's a little slower than, say, Harry Potter, but having an hour each day when about all I can do is read is good. Well, I guess I could bring headphones and watch tv, but that would be a hassle.
Also, I have mostly been using bits of lyrics to whatever song is in my head that day as my post titles and the other day after I posted I noticed that my title said "what I am's not good..." and then I started my post by saying I was still better than Dave. I meant better at posting regularly than Dave, but I didn't realize it made a sentence when put together with the post title. It struck me as funny, especially since Dave is one of the best people I know. So I altered it a little so it wasn't as insulting. I love you, Dave-you're awesome and definitely the best big brother ever.