Falling Slowly

Today we had our patriotic service at church. It makes me cry every single year. It's always good, but it makes me a little sad because the congregation only gets to sing like two of the songs. And I like the Star-Spangled Banner and all, but it's always one of the ones the congregation gets to sing on and that song is hard for me to sing, because I'm more of a mezzo-soprano than a real soprano. We never get to sing when the choir sings the songs for each branch of the Armed Forces. My dad was like, you can sing anytime you want. Like, yeah Dad, I want to be the only person in the balcony singing. People would totally notice. Anyway, it was a good service, as ever.

Yesterday, Shannon was dog-sitting for a friend of hers, so we took Kazoo and a seven week old pit mix puppy with us to her Dad's(we went swimming). The puppy was adorable-he was still little enough that he didn't quite know how to get his limbs to do what he wanted, and he would get surprised all the time and just sit down and look confused. But there was another pit mix dog she was sitting for, but we didn't take her with us because she is about 6 months old and could be left alone for a few hours. Shannon didn't want to spend the night at the friend's house, so we brought both puppies to our house last night and my poor cats were so disturbed. The big puppy is about as tall as she's going to get and she decided it would be good to chase Fuzzy Tail around. The poor cats just kept retreating to under the table and staring intently at all the dogs. We did take all three dogs for a walk to try to tire them out. The tiny one had apparently never been on a leash and he was so confused by it that he just kept sitting down and staring at it. So I took it off him and he kept up with us. He was so tired by the time we got back that he was out like a light. Anyway, it was a nice day, even if the dogs went a little nuts.

I just watched Once, which was good. It's really cute and you should totally watch it. It's a musical, but yet not, because the songs are worked in naturally, unlike regular musicals. It's a sweet movie, and it's even cooler since the leads(who are really musicians and not actors) got together in real life. The best scene in the whole movie, for me, came about 15 minutes in. I just read a review of it where the reviewer says, "Instead, they fall into a sort of "musician's love," I don't know what else to call it, in which something like romantic affection turns into, and is created from, a week of artistic collaboration between the two. Sort of like Music and Lyrics only not soulless, this is an exploration of the truism that making collaborative art means that you kind of have to fall in love just a little bit with your collaborators." It isn't really a love story, in that romantic love kind of way. But it is a very sweet story with pretty songs.

You cannot break the rules!

OK, so I think I failed to mention this, but The Strangers reminded me of Vacancy in that after a while of being tortured/chased by the villains, the male of the couple disappears for several minutes. So you spend a good chunk of the movie just watching the lady be scared and being uncertain as to what happened to the man. Also, there is very little gore in The Strangers, if that's not your thing. Funny Games is similar as far as the gore, but it was far creepier than either of those movies. I did watch it while it was still light out, and I still had to pause it a few times to take the dog out and sit in the sun for a minute or read some websites. It just got very intense and disturbing. The time I paused to look at the Internet, I left it paused for more than five minutes, so my player reverted back to cable and a second later there was this commercial for Psych with the two leads singing Ebony and Ivory and wearing various strange black and white get-ups. It was totally the funniest thing to me right then. If I saw it any other time, I would be like, meh, but right then I needed something light and that sufficed. Something else very unusual about Funny Games is that all of the action occurs off-screen. Every single thing that happens is not seen. Heard and inferred by what you see after it happens, but never seen until one hour and thirty-nine minutes into the film(and even that is not something that actually happens). It's really an interesting device. What is definitely a less interesting device is the breaking of the fourth wall. The main villain breaks the fourth wall several times and it really lessens the impact of the scenes in which it happens. Anyway, I thought it was creepier than The Strangers, but you might not.

Movies that are mostly acceptable...

Tonight I went to see The Strangers with Christina. It was...so-so. There were a few truly scary moments, surrounded by a lot of not particularly scary stuff. If ever you wanted to see about 45 minutes of Liv Tyler running around looking scared and occasionally crying in lighting of questionable value, this is the movie for you. At least she's pretty and has fantastic skin(I love actresses like Liv Tyler, Julianne Moore, Mary Louise Parker who have really pale skin and flaunt it. It took me years to come to terms with mine, but I still don't really flaunt it because I don't like to blind people. Also, mine isn't fantastic like theirs.). Scott Speedman is starting to look old, which makes me feel old. And at the beginning, the narrator claims it is based on true events, but after a bit of research, I discovered this is pretty much a blatant lie. It ends with a cheap scare. I think it is rather telling that I found myself composing this blog post during the movie. Never a good sign. It made me want to see the movie it is mostly a rip-off of: Funny Games (the original or the shot-for-shot English remake by the original German director). So I rented it and will watch it tomorrow. Possibly during the daylight hours since it is supposed to be very creepy. I am occasionally a big chicken.

A couple weeks ago I watched Sunshine, which was not bad. Kind of slow, and things got strange in about the last 25 minutes. Up til then, nothing very wrong. It really turned in to some sort of sci-fi action thriller there at the end. It was completely out of tune with the rest of the film. Weird.

I just saw The Other Boleyn Girl. I haven't read Philippa Gregory's book, so I didn't know her take, although we all know the basic story. It was...rather slow and not entirely engaging, but very pretty. Mostly it just made me want to watch Elizabeth.

In addition to renting the English language version of Funny Games, I also picked up Once. Which is supposed to be really good and have a real-life fairy tale happy ending and I meant to see it before now. I will let you know if you should see it. Okay, I actually just do these movie posts so Rachel can know what I think she would like, or she can tell me what she thought of ones she's seen. I guess I could just e-mail her...

Would you like tartar sauce with that crack sandwich?

I read this earlier and I think my favorite part is, "There was quite a bit of it, and I thought, well, this doesn't belong in a sandwich. This isn't part of what I should normally get from Rally's. So, I ate the other sandwich and called the police." I think if I found crack in one sandwich, I would not eat the other even if there was no crack visible. Also, definitely eat what could possibly be evidence and then call the police when you get around to it.

Speaking of food, I bought a little thing of ice cream yesterday because Shannon had a terrible day and I was having my own issue, so we needed some ice cream. I know the little containers are just as much money, if not more, as the big ones, but it was worth it to me to not have a giant container in the freezer taunting me with my misfortunes. Anyway, it was Dove Caramel Toffee Crunch and it was awesome. It even had a layer of Dove chocolate on the top of the ice cream. It was marvelous. I highly recommend it.

Arachnophobia!

I was reading about spiders earlier and now I keep thinking I feel things on my feet. Or my arms, which sometimes I really do because my hair is long enough again that it tickles them sometimes. I'm totally creeping myself out. Must remember: do not read about bugs, even to educate oneself, because I will pay for it later. Seriously, if I saw this on my wall, you couldn't pay me to remove the clock. I would be so gone. At least we don't have any really huge dangerous spiders like Australia. I totally killed couple of bugs while we were at the cabin (including a moth since the sight of it paralyzed Rachel), but I actually always feel really bad about it. Like, I'm afraid that the first shot won't kill them and then they'll be in pain and that's just mean. It's not like I like them, I just don't like to deliver fatal (or near-fatal) blows. Last year there was a wasp's nest on the corner of the outside front door-jamb, so I went in and out the back door for a couple of days before I could summon the nerve to shoot it with Raid. The weirdest part was that there were bees in it instead of wasps, but it was totally a wasp nest. I felt really bad, standing there watching them die. Anyway, now I am itchy and nervous. It's a good thing I never have to worry about bugs in my house. Between the cats and Kazoo, I've only seen like two bugs inside the house.

There's so much on my mind lately, I can't make out my own thoughts anymore

It's good to be home. Gatlinburg was nice, but I was ready to go home. I think everyone was. I discovered that it would seem that higher altitudes give me migraines and tested my theory about me being allergic to chlorine (according to my rather unscientific test, I am not. Yay!). Every time we would go back up the mountain to our cabin, my head would start to hurt after we got about 3/4 of the way there. I also think my cats switched personalities while I was gone. Skinny Tail has been the more personable one on a day to day basis. She is always hassling me and sitting on my lap and forcing people to pet her against their will by shoving her head repeatedly into their hands or arms or elbows. Fuzzy Tail generally only hassles me when they don't have food in their bowl (I put food in there every morning, but some days they eat it all before it's time for me to get up and refill it) or water in the kitchen (they share water with Kazoo and we generally have to fill those bowls at least once a day) and she rarely sits in my lap, but she is always first to hop onto the bed while I'm getting ready for bed. So she cuddles with me at bedtime and Skinny Tail wanders at night and cuddles with me during the day or in the evenings. But now they have completely reversed the system. It's very strange. Kind of like Kazoo forgetting how to sit while I was gone. This is not actually one of the things weighing on my mind, but I'm trying not to think about those things right now. Lately, I can start worrying about something and my stomach will drop immediately and within five minutes, I've given myself a full-blown migraine. Awesome. Althought to be honest, I kind of prefer at least knowing what caused that particular migraine. I will get to the worries in due time, I just want to go to bed and not have a nightmare about my head gasket blowing that makes me wake up and think it's real and nearly have a freak out(seriously, it was just as real as the time I dreamt there were mice in my hair and when I woke up I had to check-I cut my hair off after that). Yeah, it's fun to be me. I know you're jealous, you don't have to say it.

Things that make you go hmm...

The other day I came across this and was promptly disturbed. Who would really want a diamond created from the dead loved one's ashes or hair? That's creepy. And expensive. You can get a regular diamond for cheaper and it won't freak people out. I would rather have a memento that meant something to my loved one than an actual piece of them. Also, you can get them made of your pets too. We went to the cemetary when we were in O'boro for Memorial Day and they had a sign up that said ask about their pet cemetary. Sadly, it wasn't spelled all weird like Stephen King's Pet Sematary, so it probably won't yield zombie pets. Maybe another day I will tell you about post-Rapture e-mails.

Eh

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? unknown
3. Color of Your hair? auburn?
4. Your mother? well-intentioned
5. Your father? brilliant
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your favorite drink?
9. Your dream/goal? living
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your ex? why?
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
14. Where were you last night? shopping
15. What you're not? idiot
16. Muffins? tasty
17. One of your wish list items? books
18. Where you grew up? Kentucky
19. The last thing you did? literature
20. What are you wearing? pajamas
21. Your TV? on
22. Your pets? adorable
23. Your computer? argh
24. Your life? limbo
25. Your mood? down
26. Missing someone? sure
27. Your car? annoying
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
29. Favorite Store? eh
30. Your summer? hot
31. Like someone? everyone
32. Your favorite color? green?
33. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
34. Last time you cried? earlier
35. Who will/would re-post this? Christina?

Yes, I am ONE THOUSAND years old...

I went to the used bookstore today to see if I could find anything good for the trip. Which, not so much. All the books at our used bookstore are old and not so good. Also, easily half the store is romance novels, historical romance novels at that. You walk in and are assaulted by the racks and racks of pinks and peaches and purples. It's kind of scary. It makes me wonder why the people who read romance novels seem to be partial to historical romance. Is it less cheesy that way? I would think it would be cheesier, like with people trying to write in period-appropriate dialogue and winding up sounding ridiculous and stilted. I don't know, I was just wondering. I did, however, find a few Christopher Pike books in the very back room and I totally bought two of them. I loved Christopher Pike books for a little while, somewhere between R.L. Stine and Stephen King. They didn't have my favorite one, which was Remember Me, although they did have Remember Me 2. So I bought Die Softly and The Lost Mind, neither of which have I read. I am a giant nerd. Lately I seem to have picked up a habit of saying that I am [insert random large number here, i.e. 100, 600] years old and like, really, really emphasizing the number. It's kind of weird. People keep not knowing what I am talking about and then I feel old, and then I say weird things.

This made me giggle

Ummm...so, drugs are bad, ok kids? No person who wasn't totally high would decide that they need to change their entire life because they got a nasty cheeseburger. Also, way to be passive-aggressive with the thank you, Robert Downey Jr.

I am not a crazy cat lady, please do not give me any feline themed knick-knacks!

Last night, Shannon and I went to one of her four year old nephews' tee-ball games. It was completely adorable. Some of those kids were so tiny! Then we went to Petco, where we got Kazoo an awesome collar with chile peppers on it. And I got two collars for the cats. Because while it took me several tries to get them to come outside, now Fuzzy Tail is venturing off the porch and even to the sidewalk. She really wants to go outside in the evening and she will cry about it, but I don't trust her enough to let her out and not be out there watching her. So, she gets a collar and a leash so I can tie her to the porch. I know, ridiculous. And yes, her collar does have a tag that says Fuzzy Tail, not her original name. :) You would not believe how freaked out she was when I put the collar on her. In her defense, I did forget to take off the bell that came on it. She seemed slightly less freaked after I removed the bell. But Skinny Tail was following her around and trying to figure out what it was. So I put one on Skinny Tail too. Hers is pink, with polka dots, while Fuzzy Tail's is blue houndstooth. Skinny Tail got over the collar trauma pretty quickly after I started petting her. But I took them off before we went to bed, so they can just slowly get used to them, which is how you're supposed to do everything with cats. They are extremely averse to change.

I have been in a weird place lately. There are a lot of things going on and I've been struggling. So I keep thinking about Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I really need that reassurance right now.

A bad movie, a good one, and a so-so one, and an awesome show!

So, the recent dearth of new material on television has led to me watching more movies. I recently viewed 27 Dresses, 30 Days of Night, and The Golden Compass. 27 Dresses was surprisingly pleasant. I enjoyed it about as much as I've enjoyed any recent films. It's strange, but it seems now that there is a serious lack of entertaining, fun movies lately. Everything that gets good reviews is depressing and long. Sometimes you just want to watch something simple and light. Which is not something that 30 Days of Night is. It is, in fact, awful. It is not even a little scary, has too many strangely abrupt cuts, and tries to be too complicated. I really like scary movies, and I like ridiculous horror movies too. But this is not scary, nor is it ridiculous enough to be funny. It's just bad. It takes itself too seriously and the dialogue is terrible, and let's not even get into the acting. I rented The Golden Compass because I wanted to know why the Catholics got so upset about it. It was...strange. From what I've read, it is merely part one of three. So there was much exposition and set-up. I don't really have a problem with fantasy films or books, if they're well done. I will say this one was pretty to watch, in a completely different way from 27 Dresses. It wasn't particularly good, but I'm sure they're already working on the second one. Right now I'm catching up on season three of Weeds, so I can get ready for season four.

Better than the time Wal-Mart sold Nazi shirts...

"Is K-Mart selling abstinence pants?" is definitely the funniest headline I've read recently. I don't understand why you would put the words true love waits on your merchandise if you didn't mean for it to be about abstinence. But I love whoever said, "Because nothing says 'I plan not to have sex until marriage' like plastering text across your ass." Too true.

Deficient!

At our center here in town, they do CNA training and every time they begin a new class, the students have to take a pre-test that they are supposed to fail. Some of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few sections that are not. Usually people don't even try to fill these in (many of them don't even answer all the multiple choice ones, which is ridiculous because you have a 25% chance of being right!), but I was grading some today and one student guessed on pretty much every question and cracked me up. I had to giggle. Because, according to this student:
AD LIB = adaptive liberal
STAT = sugar, temperature, adult, thermometer
QID = Quit in disgust
NPO = No patient left out
QH = Quietly humming
ROM = radial osteo matching
The inability to speak = mute
Seeing, hearing, or feeling something that is not real = crazy
The lack or absence of breathing = suffocating
The frequent passage of liquid stools = frequent urination
The amount of force exerted against the walls or an artery by the blood = pulse force
Post mortem care = nursing home
Bluish discoloration of the skin = cold

In conclusion, awesome. Made my Monday.

I teach part time...

So I saw a few movies this weekend, one even in the theatre. First was I Am Legend, which was pretty good, although depressing. We actually had to stop it Saturday night because it was too intese and depressing since we knew the dog was going to die. So we finished it up in the daytime. I don't think that made it any less sad. Sunday afternoon I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (otherwise known as Indiana Jones and the Longest Title Ever). It's pretty good. It's not as good as the old ones, although I may be seeing them through the haze of fond memories, but it is definitely not terrible. There were a few moments that it gave into the cheesy with the dialogue, and I rolled my eyes, but overall, not bad. It was fun and light, which is, I think, what it strived to be. It's not a commentary on society, there's no deeper meaning, but there doesn't have to be. Sometimes you just want to watch a fun movie that you don't have to think about. And most of the effects were good, although there were a couple times it was just too cheesy to bear, including one ridiculous re-enactment of Tarzan. But there was a delightful surprise in the form of The Janitor and Alan Dale! Awesome squared. I think sometimes people get too bent out of shape about movies and forget that things like Indy are supposed to be entertainment and nothing more. Although when we were watching I Am Legend I started questioning where he was getting his power and running water if no one else was alive, and Shannon had to remind me that it was just a movie. Then I watched An American Crime after I got home. Which is just about the most depressing movie I've ever seen. I do not recommend it. I mean, it was well done and all, but just don't watch it unless you want to feel awful (it's based on a true story).