Good weekend so far

I feel as though I complain rather a lot that I never get to do nothing(not anything, I do lots of things. I want to do nothing.) on weekends. I'm coming close this weekend, or rather, close enough. I did have to get up early yesterday since I had to be in Scottsville at 9, since I seem to be volunteering my services. I am such a sucker. And all I had today was church. And the only thing on the agenda for tomorrow is that Shannon and I are getting facials. I've never had one, but I hope it's cool. Friday we went to the beauty supply store and then we came home and I applied individual false lashes to her eyes. It took a half hour, but that's just cause I'd never done it before and I was trying to make sure it was perfect. It was an interesting experience, and they look good, although I had to trim them after I put them on so they didn't look crazy long and fake. We both agreed after we finished that she should not attempt to glue things to my eyes and then use scissors near them. But today she showed me how to use eyeshadow and a wet angle brush to approximate eyeliner. I think we all know I'm not good at eyeliner, so I don't use it. I could maybe do this, though. And we discovered I am capable of applying individual fake lashes on other people. All in all, a success. I also decided I need a hobby, preferably one that could lead to some supplemental income at some point. So if you know of something I should or could do, please, do share.

Also, a note on church: lately I've been thinking I need to go to ABF, so I need to find a suitable class. I went to the Young Careers one the Sunday before last, but I couldn't go last week because I only got back in town in time to go to the last service and do camera. I wasn't super impressed the first time, but I thought I should give it a real chance and go more than once. It's kind of funny, because next week, our church is having an ABF open house, so you can like, find one that hopefully fits. And this week, I got a postcard in the mail about a women's one that starts in September and meets at that same hour. So I may look into that one. As Shannon put it, "You were looking for a Sunday School class and the next week, you get a card inviting you to one for women. It's a God thing." I think she's likely correct.

Wow

I went to the cheap bookstore here in town today at lunch. I don't remember what it is called, but they have random stuff and it's all at least half price. In the case of these gems I found sitting on a table marked "All Items 99 Cents!," some awesomely random stuff. Like a book of photos of James Van Der Beek (marked bio, but I don't think I believe that) and a similar one of photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Behind Van Der Beek's book there was an even larger stack of books of Lee Ann Rimes, but that didn't make it into the photo. Sorry. But seriously, who would buy these, even for ninety-nine cents? Cheesy biographies of cheesy 'teen' 'stars' of the nineties and early '00s. And apparently, in order to get a biography you had to have at least three names in your working name. Also, look at the branding: High Interest Books? Really? That's why ten years later they're still around and only ninety-nine cents?

I took a picture of this in the Current Fiction section because it just struck me as funny. A Garrison Keillor book next to...whatever kind of book this is. Beneath those authors' names it says, "Three all-new stories of sinfully sexy men--and the women who change their wicked ways." The line below the title reads, "Behind every devil is an angel." Now I'm kind of wishing I had bought it. It sounds like a real winner. When I get incredibly bored, or really hyper or happy, I like to read passages from terrible books out loud so I can mock them with my friends and loved ones. Really, it doesn't even have to be books. I did it once with a pamphlet about Mormons and once with an informational packet about birth control (it was very wrong and ridiculous). Also, you know that dude on the cover's friends are going to tease him until the end of time.

It's cool to be ubiquitous

I totally did not know that Kal Penn was acting as a whip at the DNC. I really like him and I was glad when he got added to the cast of House. It seems rather random that he's doing that.

And how was Michael Phelps everywhere in NYC this morning? I saw him on GMA before I left for work and then this picture says he was on CBS' The Early Show. I saw a thing on Gawker Stalker that he was also filming a guest appearance for Entourage in NYC today. He's omnipresent! I'm starting to get scared.

No, I'm getting out of this joint!

Shannon and I were watching part of the DNC last night and it suddenly struck me as ridiculous. Why do they have to give acceptance speeches? What's up with all the hoopla? As if it would get to this point and the person would go to the podium and be like, "Uh, thanks for your confidence, but do you think I'm crazy? There's no way I'm doing this!" Kind of like how when we vote on stuff at church, by the time we get to the vote, it's always at least 97% agreeing with whatever the pawstor wants to do. Except even though we go through the motions of voting at church, there's no surrounding hoopla. It seems to me that since America has, since it's inception, not so much stood on ceremony, why are we bothering to try to create traditional crap now? At least the DNC isn't costing us government money, but still. There was a point to this, but now I've lost it again. I knew there was a reason I don't try to wax philosophical about important matters. And Joe Biden's forehead scares me. I think he Botoxed the crap out of it because it is unnaturally smooth and never moves. It must be strange to not be able to move your eyebrows. We also realized that one of the debates is supposed to be in Nashville, about which we were both excited. But then we discovered that it is on a Tuesday and that is the night Shannon has her accounting class that she has a quiz in each week. So unless she does really really well in that class between now and October 7th, we are not going. I mean, I could still go, but I don't think I know anyone else who would want to go and I don't think I would want to go alone.

Also, on Sunday when Dave and Rachel brought me back to work where I'd left my car on Friday, they came in to get drinks and whatnot. I offered Addie some grapes, as I've been keeping some fruits at work all the time now. Addie was like, well, no because I already pooped enough today. She's so funny. And she does eat a boatload of fruit. I just remembered that because I was going to throw the grapes with bad spots outside for the birds.

Fun with signage

Yesterday, on my way home from work, for the first time ever I waas glad to get stuck behind someone not turning right at that awful light on the Bypass that I have to go through 4 times a day. I was glad because I noticed the car in front of me said "Rags 2 Riches." Firstly, I was a little(li'l) surprised it didn't say "Ragz 2 Richez." The real thing was, it was a Pontiac, and not even a new one at that! I don't know if you can really see it in this photo, but I took it with my phone, so sorry. There was nothing I could do to make it better, short of hopping out of the car to get closer. I was not so much prepared to do that at 5:00 on a weekday at one of the worst intersections in town.
This reminded me, while I was in Philadelphia, the night I got there I walked down the street from my hotel to get a drink at the 7/11 and saw a sign that the girl behind the counter must have made advertising their new Slurpee flavor. I didn't take a picture because it was on the door, so she would have seen me and also, I didn't take my camera with me on that errand. But the sign referred to the flavor as "Rabiation" raspberry or whatever the flavor was. It was a tie-in with the Hulk movie, but it was supposed to be radiation rather than rabiation. I wonder, is one irrabiated if one gets rabies? I can only imagine that was what the maker was thinking. And no, I did not try the Slurpee. ;)

I forgot I was wearing flip-flops instead of real shoes...

So I may have dropped a five drawer filing cabinet on my foot earlier. In addition to the awesome bruise I'm certain will appear, I also have a large chunk missing from my big toe. It's gross. At least I found some band-aids.

I don't watch Dancing With the Stars, but after running across a list of the 'stars' who will be participating this season, I may have to start. I mean, Susan Lucci, Cloris Leachman, Lance Bass and Kim Kardashian?! If you've never seen Keeping Up With the Kardashians, count yourself fortunate. It is ridiculous and they are incredibly dumb and obnoxious. So, I've seen most of the episodes. Anyway, also that kid Cody Linley from Hannah Montana and all those Zaxby's commercials with Alyson Stoner. You know, the one where she says she's an actress and he says me too and the other one where they 'freestyle' 'rap', if you use both of those words in the very loosest possible forms? Yeah, those commercials are annoying. But, Cloris Leachman! Who doesn't think she is awesome? And Susan Lucci! She makes me want to start watching All My Children again. I haven't even seen it since I was like 19. Really, I think I would only watch Dancing With the Stars if there was a guarantee that Cloris Leachman would wipe the floor with all of the others. Or if it were like, Cloris Leachman dancing with Lance Bass and Susan Lucci dancing with Cody Linley and Kim Kardashian and Ted McGinley together. I know that's not how that show works, but that sounds like it would be so much more of a trainwreck.

Just thinking about this makes me want to wash my hands.

I was reading a book and they were talking about building a trebuchet, and I didn't know what that meant, so I wiki'd it. Apparently it's like an accurate medieval catapult. That's all well and good, but the part where it says they would put diseased corpses in it and launch them inside city walls with the hopes of infecting their enemies is just wrong. Using corpses as infective projectiles is almost as bad as Soylent Green. Although I bet Heston would totally have been all about someone using his dead body to kill his enemies. Well, maybe not...

Give 7 minutes of your lives to these two videos

This explanation of action movies is pretty awesome. There were a couple clips I didn't recognize, but when they list the movies at the end, the only one I haven't seen is Dr. Strangelove, so I guess my observational powers are on the fritz. I can't even imagine how long it took to put this together. I don't have that kind of patience.



You know what must have taken far longer than that? This homage to the most overused phrase in reality television. I read this guy's website because his America's Next Top Model recaps are really funny. With this video, he continues to be awesome. If you don't watch America's Next Top Model, you totally should. It is completely, ridiculously sublime. At this point in it's run, it's pretty much a parody of itself, just as Tyra has become a caricature of herself. So, yeah, read FourFour if you watch ANTM or just enjoy smart pop culture essays on a variety of topics.

Language Arts

I was having a nerd moment the other day because I was reading a book and they kept saying that some dude said such and such 'drily.' I know it's a word and I know what it means, but my problem is that although it is an acceptable spelling, drily doesn't look right to me. If I were going to use it in that manner, I would probably go with dryly. Is this just me?

This movie poster quiz is really hard. I only managed to get just under half of them. I am so embarrassed. Or not.

After the project I've been working on at work all day today, plus all day Friday, I think I don't ever want to see the word origin again. It doesn't even look like a word to me anymore. And I'm not even finished. I'm actually only about halfway there...(moan). Origin looks like a foreign word to me now. I feel like it should be a Slavic word, although I'm not certain why. Maybe because in my dazed state it seems similar to Onegin...

I know you know that I'm not telling the truth...

I really like the show Psych on USA. It's light and funny and I love Dule Hill's outfits. I think his character would covet Chuck from Gossip Girl's closet. You know what I don't love? Short-sleeve dress shirts on men. I'm really not sure why, but I just don't like them. Last night I made Shannon watch this minute of this week's episode because I think it clearly demonstrates why I like this show. Even though I never say things like that to people, I want to often. I hate it when people say they could care less. It's so glaringly wrong! Shannon just laughed at me. Anyway, watch this because it's funny. Also, this show has an awesome theme song.

Oh dear

I was being a nice person today and picking up lunch for a coworker on the way back from my lunch and I saw this sign. It made me giggle.

Oh noes! Not Harry Potter!

Dude, this sucks. I don't think they would necessarily make less money if they actually released Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as planned in November rather than 7 months later. That's insane. Plus, they've already started marketing it and so people are all kinds of excited. If they don't plan to alter the release schedule for the two-part one of the seventh book, then what is really the point of this? Even though people will be mad and sign petitions and crap, it's not like anyone who is really excited about the movies would actually boycott them. They'll still go, so WB isn't losing anything other than some goodwill. As much as the decision to push back Harry Potter doesn't make sense to me, I understand even less the decision to push back that Bolt animated movie. I've alreayd seen several previews for it and there were ads for it in all the busses at Disney World. I've only seen one trailer for Harry Potter, although that was enough to get me excited. This is just weird. It seems pointless.

Some pictures of some stuff I saw throughout the past month...

Here are some adorable people. I have a really cute picture of them kissing right before this was taken, but I though Rachel might not like me to post it.
Me wearing Dave's hat.
Dave wearing Dave's hat. I know, I'm so gangsta and he's not, but it does fit his head better...
Me and Dave's hat at the Liberty Bell. That's Independence Hall in the background, as it is directly across the street.
Addie and Belle at the princess breakfast.

The shoes I wore to work Monday with my brand new way too long pants that fit my hips! Aren't they freaking awesome?

Hair don't?

I wish I could find my awesome purple sunglasses. I tend to use my sunglasses as headbands when I am indoors, and those were not too loose to stay on top of my head. They were perfect. Eh. I dyed Shannon's hair Sunday and it really made me want to dye my hair. I convinced her to go with a dark auburn, even though she was scared that she couldn't do red, but it looks great. She should always trust me-I would not steer my friends wrong. But it really makes me wish my hair were red even more than usual. I have wanted red hair for 18 years. And all my hair has been doing the past few years is getting darker. That's no good. I am scared of dying it though, because I'm afraid that it won't be this color later. I'm ok with my hair color, it sort of has some natural highlights, whatever, but it's pretty boring and it comes closer to looking orange in the sun than it does red. I really want red hair, but I also hear that red is the hardest to keep up with, dye-wise. So instead of dying my hair and regretting it later, I got a haircut at lunch today. Just a trim and then some shorter layers, but it seems a lot shorter to me. Well, my boss's daughter is entertaining me now, so I should go.

In which I do stupid things in life and in dreams

I had this weird dream the other day that I got a tattoo and then all of a sudden I had a bunch of tattoos. I kind of do want a tattoo, but just one, and a small one that's not of something stupid. So I won't tell you what I actually want, although I told a couple people and none of them thought it was dumb, and they were the friends who would be like, that's stupid, don't do it. Anyway, I probably won't do it because I am indecisive and I don't know where I would get it and I have a mild fear of needles. In my dream, the first tattoo I got was a fairy, which is definitely not something I would get if I were to put something on my person permanently. And it was on my ankle, which I hear is a fairly painful place to get them. And then all the other ones I had were on my torso, rather than in places they would have been visible. It was strange.

Anyway, I burned the crap out the front of my legs on Saturday. Like, from my hips to my ankles is very red. It doesn't really hurt that much, which is strange because it is angry red. It'll be fun once they start peeling. And we were supposed to dress kind of nicely this week because of the auditors, but because I did that to my legs, I didn't want to wear any of my really cute skirts. Sunday I was on graphics and I had to be there at 7, so I hopped up and put on the only pair of pants I had that were not jeans and then once I got to church I realized that they were way too big. So large, in fact, that I could pull them off easily without undoing the buttons. Yeah. I went to buy some pants after church. And the shirt I put on today was fitted before and now it's just kind of hanging there. Awesome! I better not get too excited though, or I will backslide. Also, I'm kind of excited that even though I've been losing weight, my boobs have not disappeared. I like having the option of cleavage.

My calendar at work is a UPS calendar, because the giant desk calendars everyone else favors just get in my way, and the UPS guy brings us a calendar every year anyway. I just turned it to August (I fully realize that it is August 12th and I am only now turning it because I was working on stuff that had to go into our system in July and it helped me keep my dates straighter to just keep looking at July until I finished it), and the caption under the picture says "UPS Freight service is poetry in motion." Next time you're feeling poetic, turn to UPS!

Less time, mo' problems

So, Friday at 4:20 I discovered that our air conditioner was leaking. We actually had that problem earlier this summer and it was something about ice building up and we had to turn it off and wait for it to melt before it could be fixed. We turned the air off and went home. So we already knew there would be no air here this morning, but apparently one of my bosses came in yesterday to discover that the entire basement (where our president and two vice presidents have their offices, as well as our record room) was flooded, with three inches of water standing everywhere. It seems that where they had been working on widening Lovers Lane, they had managed to do something to cause one of our pipes to burst. Score. So now we have no water today. They promised to have it back on by the end of the day. And our new auditors were coming for the first day today, so we made a great impression. At least the air guy was here by the time I got here at 7:45 and had the air back on by 8:30. So it's getting to be cool in here now, but we still have no running water. I wish I hadn't just drunk a giant bottle of water.

So I feel like I've been bouncing around crazily all week. I was stressed and busy, but weirdly hyper and happy. I don't know what that's about... I guess it's better than being unhappy though. I have a rather nasty migraine this afternoon, and I was pressing my thumbs into my browbones in the exact spot that helps when I noticed that my palm smelled like Champs Elysee. Which is weird, because I wore that perfume yesterday, but I totally showered this morning and I washed my hands at least 15 times yesterday. The lady selling the perfume said that you should spray it into your palm and then put your palm where you want it. I'd never heard that, so I tried it. It did make my palm smell rather strongly of perfume for part of the morning, despite repeated hand-washing. Eh.

Wasting time I don't have...

I get really antsy when I have a lot of things that I really need to be doing. Like, I can't just sit and concentrate on them and I wind up doing everything except them. It's no good. And the internet is made for procrastinators. The other day I was wandering around avoiding things and I actually wound up singing a medley of time-centric songs. I'll leave you to come up with your own, rather than tell you which ones I inadvertently went with. I'm just glad Shannon wasn't there to notice my insanity. I had gotten through choruses on like four different song before I realized I was doing it.

On an unrelated note[;)], I saw this new Weezer video. I am not huge on You Tube because I have other ways to waste my time, so I don't recognize all the "famous" You Tube people in that video. I do love a good "all your base are belong to us" joke, though. I need to work on my pop culture education, I guess. I need to be part of the zeitgeist. Also, You Tube usually inspires schadenfreude (I just used two words borrowed from German in successive-and successful, I think-sentences!). Why do I always have trouble embedding videos? It makes no sense, but I do, so that's why I've only embedded things like twice.

I saw this post on Go Fug Yourself today and I was like, oh, wow, eeww. For one thing I didn't even recognize him as Zack Morris, I thought it was this guy. But then I totally couldn't stop singing (inside my head) "fugging it up" on The Barry Gibb Talk Show to the tune of the awesome theme song from the SNL sketch with Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake-I especially love the part where they sing about crazy cool medallions(and they did that sketch more than once-look for the other(s?), just not on Hulu). Seriously. It was weird even for me. So I did something even more unprecedented than yesterday's super early bedtime. I e-mailed Heather and Jessica (the founders and writers of the website, which I actually first stumbled upon a long time ago from links from their TWoP recaps) and told them that and that I hoped that was their theme song (especially since when I went to e-mail them, I realized the e-mail address was fuggingitup@gmail.com). She(they?) e-mailed back and said they sing that song all the time, with all kinds of things standing in for talking. It just made me happy. And surprised that I got an e-mail back. Also, I started to label this post and realized I have a label for nerdiness and one for dorktastic. Let me know if you have any thoughts on how I might I have been differentiating those when I created them. Or how you might differentiate them?

Help?

So, I'm not into gardening or anything, but I've been keeping five indoor plants alive at work for three years. Two of them are peace lilies (one lady I work even brought he own peace lily in a few weeks ago because she had killed all but like one tiny leaf on it-it now has about ten leaves which are getting taller every day!) and they are in front of the same window, but one of them is several feet (the length of a bench) further back. The one in the front has 12 (!) blooms on it right now and the one in the back, while still very green and shiny and healthy looking, has no blooms. In fact, hasn't had any blooms in a couple of weeks. These two plants generally bloom throughout the seasons, although not usually as copiously as the slightly smaller one is right now. So, basically I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on why the second one is not blooming. Or why the first one is blooming so prolifically(I totally typed proliferately, but then thought that sounded weird, so I checked to see if it is a word and it would seem "ly" is not a viable attachment for proliferate. Sad. So I thought about proliferous, but when I checked to see if the meaning would be the same, it is not quite. Unfortunately, it took me that long to think of the word I was trying to think of in the beginning-prolific. I am a crappy nerd.).

I am old

So I went to bed like super early last night. It was weird. And I slept for 10 hours. I thought I was maybe getting sick because my nose was feeling funny. And I don't like that. Although I do think I have either another polyp or a bone spur or need my adenoids cut back again because not much air is moving in the right side anymore. Nerds. And it's been crazy at work this week and I'm trying to get 12,000 things done and all sorts of other things. Shannon left yesterday to go house-sit for her parents and take care of their dog and pool. So she'll be gone for a week and a half, so I will get as much alone time as she had when I was gone, and possibly start going crazy from it. It's always nice at first, but then after a few days you're like, I'm bored, there's no one here but the animals and they are driving me insane. But I'll probably go hang out there with her some this weekend. And she doesn't work on Wednesdays right now, so when I got home last evening(late), she had cleaned the whole house! It was awesome and smelled good because she put stuff in the diffuser. So I thought that was nice and unnecessary, but she said she'd meant to have the house cleaned before I got back from vacation. Still, really nice and made my day. So that meant I could go to bed shortly after she left for the Grove(after I read for a while on the couch with the air off so I could listen to the really good storm outside). So, good end to a long day.

It would seem I inspired a game...

After being morose for a while yesterday afternoon, I had a visitor who cracked me up. One of my bosses has a four year old(almost five) daughter who comes upstairs and talks to all of the girls when she drops by. She came in yesterday and kept asking if she could help me with my work (sometimes we'll give her something to take to someone else in the office or let her shred things), and no, she couldn't. The phone rang and I picked it up and noticed she was watching me intently. Her mom came up and told me that she really likes to listen to me answer the phone. She said they have a game they play called the ETR phone game where she is me and answers the phone [in the (so I'm told by several people) singsong way I say our company's name] and the daughter asks for people and then she asks if she may tell them who's calling and the daughter makes up a silly name and then they start over again. I was like, hmm. It made me giggle a little.

I shouldn't be doing this. I have a ton of work to do and I can't stay late because I promised Shannon I would cook some chicken for her tonight, and after I got to work I realized that I am on graphics this Sunday, so I have to go to the rehearsal tonight at 6:30. Nuts. Maybe I'll come back later. That might help. Urgh.

Where ARE you guys?

So...Ham. Ham was what Addie kept calling Grandma's friend Pam. Pam rode with them to Disney World and shared a room with Zoe and me and hung out with us some, when her daughter had to be at work. Addie continued to call her Ham, claiming she couldn't say Pam. Rachel finally got her to do it, but then Pam happened to come back and Addie was jumping around the room singsonging Pam. It was pretty funny. Rachel seemed to think this needed explaining. It's probably not funny to anyone else. Also, I have been wandering around singing Aux Champs Elysee under my breath all day. I hope no one has noticed because I cannot get it out of my head.

I had called my pharmacy to get a refill on my stomach medicine before I left for DW because I was going to come up a day and a half short. They said that the company that makes the generic, which I have been purchasing at $7 a month for like 3 years now, stopped making the generic, so now I have to get a real drug with a brand name. Apparently my insurance wanted me to start paying $30 for the new/same drug. Urgh. I was irritated and the pharmacy called me back and let me know they were on the phone with the insurance company and that they (the pharmacy) would give me three pills to get me through until they worked it out with the insurance company. I ran out of time though and didn't get to run by there and get them before I left for Philadelphia, so I just didn't have any Saturday night or Sunday. Which was not ideal, but I dealt. So I called them today, now that they've had a week to hassle the insurance company and they said that I only have to pay $10 a month. So, score! Only three dollars more per month instead of $27.

Where's Ham?

So, taking a cue from Rachel, as I'm uncertain as to my ability to form coherent sentences right now anyway, some stuff that I enjoyed recently.

Addie, studying a replica of the "Spitting Gargoyle" from Notre Dame, asking me why he had a bow on his head. I informed her that it was actually horns and she wanted to know what they were for. Excellent question, little one.

Rachel laughing her way through Space Mountain. It always cracks me up.

Dave and I laughing our way through Expedition Everest, except for the part where they took our picture, which was apparently exactly when we, sitting in the very front, looked down and saw what appeared to be a straight drop. It wasn't. :)

The look of sheer delight on Addie's face as she was going down slides of any kind.

The look of delighted relief on Zoe's face as she got to the end of any slide.

All of us having funnel cake for the second time this summer!

Zoe explaining that she didn't think any of the Jonas Brothers were cute. When I pressed her as to why she knew so much about them, then, she was at a loss.

Coming home today and making some room in the freezer for the groceries Shannon's mom bought us and pulling out a quarter of a giant bottle of white wine, frozen, with a latex glove shoved in the opening (I use gloves when cleaning the cat litter box and sometimes cleaning the bathroom or doing the dishes. Depends on how OCD I am feeling that day.). It seriously cracked me up. Apparently it seemed like a good idea to drunk people to stopper a bottle with a glove since the dog ate the cork. I should have bought a Mickey wine stopper, Rach!

Addie doing the same thing with alligators in the car that she did with bears in the car in Gatlinburg.

Getting rained on several days in a row, with differing adult females of our party wearing white shirts (when it was my turn, I actually wore a white dress. Smart.) each time, so deciding for us who got the poncho. Until we finally wised up and bought more ponchos. ;)

Dave and his cool Indiana Jones-ish hat. It came with a four-page owner's manual. Bet you didn't know hats were so involved.

The fact that all of the five flights I was on in the past fortnight left at least five minutes early, and all of them arriving at the destination at least 15 minutes early. Awesome and unprecedented.

Getting to spend an entire week with some of my awesome family, including the Balls. Thanks for all the memories!

It was really fun and stiflingly hot and I wish I hadn't started out with blisters on my feet from my day in Philadelphia with inappropriate footwear. I am so glad to be home. And so not ready to go to work tomorrow. But so incredibly ready for bed right now.