In case you were wondering, it's not really an awesome idea to hula hoop while wearing pants with an elastic waist...

OK, well now I know what I should buy next fall. Although I had not heard of the 'freedom blanket' or 'blankoat' before. There was a third that I had heard of, but it was more than the 'slanket' and I don't remember what it was called. I had pretty much decided that the slanket was my best bet, it was just that it was more, so I dragged my feet until it got mostly warm.

Eewww

Why would someone zoom in on an ear like that? It's the bottom picture that makes the top make sense. I did not need to see that. Rachel, your pal Efron needs some ear cleaning lessons.

I still try to watch SNL sometimes...

OK, Alec Baldwin hosted SNL on Valentine's Day, with musical guests the Jonas Brothers. I missed it then, but recorded it last night (What? Baldwin is hilarious!). This probably won't be as funny to people who don't have a niece who spent a summer calling the Jonas Brothers the Jonuts/Donuts, but you should watch it anyway. She's a genius, just like Great-Grandma says! Also, IMDB tells me that his daughter Ireland goes by Addie. Random!

This digital short is not really very funny, except for the video parts. They're awesome the way the Robin Sparkles videos are awesome. The crazy faces the middle one makes while singing definitely look far less out of place here. What? I watched Camp Rock with Zoe last summer because I am a good aunt (Trust me, it was better than The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl and I made it through that with her. Although really, having my tonsils removed was preferable to that movie, so that's not saying much for Camp Rock. But still.).

Random!

I just watched episodes of two completely different shows back to back and you know what they had in common? Shrödinger's cat was mentioned in both. What are the odds of that?

Somehow, the internets know I have had the longest of long weeks and decided to make it up to me with this. If my week hadn't sucked so hard, I would bother to write it up all fancy like, with some 5 dollar words. But it did and so I do not care. One more hour and I can go home and drink some rum, watch some bad tv and go to bed. Possibly not the rum. Depends on how this headache goes.

Curious...

Last night when I was going to bed it was hot in my room because I had been running the dryer (the laundry room is attached to my room, since none of you have been privileged enough to visit The Paneled Palace). So I took off my pj pants because I can't sleep without a cover, but sans pants, plus cover is totally ok. It was rainy and windy last night and I recall waking up several times. When I got up this morning I was wearing pants. I don't remember putting on pants any of the times I was awakened by the weather. Hmm...

Is anyone else disturbed by those Old Navy 'town gown' commercials? They're just so weird and incredibly stupid... Who decided that the creepy mannequins were a good idea?

Shannon was rereading the later Harry Potter books the past week or so, and so I was rereading them after her, but we didn't have the last one. So she bought it in hardcover because they don't have it in paperback yet, but then she left it at her grandma's house, so now I can't read it. And apparently it's not coming out in paperback until this July. That book has been out for nearly 2 years! That's just mean. I refuse to pay $25 for it. While looking for it, I noticed the lists on the side and one was called, 'my favorite chapter books' by Claudia Kishi. Wasn't Claudia Kishi a character in The Babysitter's Club books? The one with a learning disability, crazy clothes and a love for candy, whose house they always met at?

I just found out Christopher Walken Twitters. That definitely has potential for awesomeness...scratch that, it is completely as awesome as you might hope.

...like tiny thermometers that come in turkeys...

If you want to laugh so hard you might cry, you should read this. Parental discretion is advised. It is seriously hilarious; two out of two people I know who read it agree. If you don't think it's funny, just ask me to read it to you next time I see you.

"We're misunderstood-deep down inside us there is good."

I feel like once I start talking about something, it keeps popping up everywhere to entertain me at every turn. Today, that something is West Side Story. Which I totally loved when I was a kid and thought Anita was all awesome, all the time. And here is where it popped up now-Vanity Fair. I'm not really clear on why J. Lo is Anita, and everyone else is supposed to be like, young and up-and-coming hot stars or something. But some of those pictures are totally awesome. Also, I love to sing the song about being a Jet all the way. And do the dance with the crouching and snapping. Or maybe I don't.

"This is a man who had wanted to have two families." Ugh!

I don't know if any of you are following the Josef Fritzl trial, but I think I'm going to have to stop. And just in case I couldn't do it alone, the rest of the trial is going to be secret anyway. The details that have been coming out are so unbelievably awful that I feel physically ill. And the defense that he is not a monster because if he were a monster, he wouldn't have let her have the children and continue feeding them is insane. I know someone has to defend him, and they have to say something, but really? Letting his daughter have his children and only taking half of them away from her is totally cooler than if he were to use some form of birth control?! The half he didn't take from her have physical and sociological issues. They have a stoop, which I guess means they are hunchbacked, because they've spent their entire lives in a place that has ceilings that are only five feet high. Plus the fact that they've only ever interacted with four other people, have rotting teeth and gums, limited vocabulary and language skills, and undoubtedly some serious emotional issues from seeing their father/grandfather repeatedly rape their mother.

I understand you want to make finance entertaining, but it's not a f.....g game!

Shannon and I were watching The Daily Show the other day (by the way, if you weren't following the ridiculous media storm surrounding Jon Stewart's battle of words with Jim Cramer, you should totally watch Thursday's Daily Show, as Jim Cramer got totally schooled, and I think he liked it.), and for some reason they were talking about John McCain having a Twitter account. I was like, now I think we need to sign up for Twitter solely so we can subscribe to that! And Trent Reznor's Twitter...I don't know. There's something wrong with my brain, you guys. Also, I'm not so sure I care about Twitter. I mean, it's pretty much just like Facebook status updates without the Facebook part, no?

Uhhh...I don't know. I don't have any songs in my head right now...

I just realized that now that I'm officially old, I need to change my thing on my profile. But I don't know any quotes about being 27! Balls! Anyway, I am clearly a winner, because I have left my house exactly once today, and that was just to get some Coke from McDonald's this morning, because their Coke is the best and I needed it. And yet, even though I only stood on the porch to let the dog pee four times(by the way, Kazoo is so good for me that I haven't put his leash on him in weeks and he comes right back to the porch when I call him), I managed to get yelled at by an older gentleman(it wasn't entirely random, as it was someone I know, who felt the need to pull over and yell at me while I stood shivering on the porch, waiting for Kazoo to finish his business). I am that talented. Or need that much guidance? Eh. It's been a lovely day full of watching crap TV, taking a bath, and reading, thus far, three books. I was going to critique a movie I watched today for you, but I don't think anyone cares about my crap tv, so whatever. Although I don't recall mentioning on here that the weekend I went to Birmingham, Rachel and I spent most of that Saturday watching terrible made-for-TV movies about mutant snakes on the Sci-Fi channel. Dave did not get it. Anyway, I noticed today that it was mutant fish movie day on Sci-Fi, featuring one of the same movies that was on for mutant snake movie day, Snakehead Terror; a wonderful argument for the wonderful films that are made in Canada. I did not watch it today, merely laughed and proceeded to watch things from the DVR. Things like Ugly Betty, something I'm not overly excited about but continue to watch. This episode did feature someone wearing purple tights. On the other hand, it also featured America Ferrara saing she 'could care less' about something or other. That really irritates me because it is all wrong. Like people who say literally, when what they mean is figuratively. Ugh.

Also, I don't know how this happens, but anytime Shannon has to run to the store for things, she always manages to convince me to go, but the other day I couldn't convince her to go with me, as usual. Thusly, I went to the store for milk, bread, and cheese and came home with that, plus 6 different kinds of muffin mix. Apparently now that I own a muffin tin, I plan to use it frequently (I bought one last Friday so I could make cupcakes for Shannon's birthday instead of a cake, so as to make it easier to parcel out to others). This is why I need supervision.

'the words that he spoke made the people assume there wasn't too much left in the upper room'

So, I saw something completely absurd in Philadelphia. It was this. Dave Ramsey would be horrified. I also think it's funny that it's on clearance.

I finally started to read Wuthering Heights, because I only bought it like two years ago since it's a classic I thought I should read. I am not loving it. It's freaking depressing, and I have a tendency to speak in the style of books that I am reading, so watch out for that and be sure to call me on it. Before my flight back from Philadelphia, I bought Glamour because I didn't want to read the book the whole flight. And from Glamour, I learned this: there is a male designer named Chris Benz, who had some tips, including; 'combine stuff you already own in new ways' (I am all over this, mostly because I don't do laundry as often as I should and then I decide things are good enough.), ' try some wild make-up colors...turquoise liner. It's easier to wear than you think (I am definitely all over this-I use an angle brush, water, and eyeshadow to make all kinds of awesome eyeliner colors. I am particularly fond of indigo and bright blue, as they make my eyes look green. Purple is also good, but dark or at least violet, not lavender.), 'there's something so chic about matching everything-jacket, scarf, tights, shoes, everything. This is not for the faint of heart, but you'll look like a true color genius' (I used to do this, and I don't mean like when I was 6, but like, when I was 20. My underthings always matched too. I was super OCD about things sometimes, but you just haven't lived until you've seen a 19 year old girl wearing the Superman shirt from a set of Underoos with red shorts and blue and red socks and red sparkly tennis shoes-they came from The Limited Too. I shopped in the children's dept a lot, as stuff was way cheaper.). Anyway, it was amusing. Also, I totally typed this post like a week and half ago. I am slow. Also, a five year old told me she liked my 'eye stuff' today. Bright eyeliner for the win! Glad I got that off my mind grapes. ;)

Eewww.

It may have been a poor choice to eat yogurt right after brushing my teeth.

I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

So, apparently they are going to make Heathers into a musical! Now, I love Heathers, and I like musicals (love some), but I am not so sure that these things should meet. I used the phrase, "What's your damage, Heather?" last week (and no, I don't have any friends named Heather.). Anyway, I know it's campy, but it's awesome. If ABC Family channel showed it as much as they show Bring It On, I would be watching it all the time, but alas, I have to make do with the sheer brilliance that is Bring It On. Which I totally make people who haven't seen it watch. I made my friend Kristine watch Boondock Saints recently and she was not impressed. I fear we cannot be friends any longer. Sorry, Kristine. I asked her if she at least liked Bring It On and she was like, uh, yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? I don't know, but apparently they are part of my litmus test for friends.

Also, Shannon is going to NY with her sisters and step-mom and they want to go see a show and she was like, Avenue Q for the win! I was talking to her about it because Mark used to talk about it rather a lot and it seemed like a musical she would enjoy more than others, and now she really really wants to see it. And really, I've not seen it, but what's not to love about a musical that has songs called, 'What Do You Do With a BA in English?' and 'Schadenfreude?'(I love the word schadenfreude-it is awesome. As my dad says, a German word for a German concept. And yes, I know he didn't make that saying up.) Hey Mark, don't you have the book Wicked? Can I borrow it?

"In 1996 God told me to preach the Gospel on cable television in Tucson, Arizona."

I love that this author thought that belonged in her book description; not her about the author, but her book description. Would you buy a book called BIRTH CONTROLS IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!? I kind of love that we live in a world where such a book exists and is apparently written in all caps, and someone on Amazon tagged it 'caplocks are evil.' I really do love it. Also, it costs $135! And someone is selling a used copy, and the description says it was signed by God himself (I can only assume they are making fun of the author, because in her description of her book, she writes that it is an holy-spirit authored tome. Except in all caps, of course.). I think it should be added to all Amazon baby and wedding registries, because I just noticed those buttons and it made me giggle.

I should be working. But I am still amused by the Facebook pirate language 'arrplication.' It makes me giggle. This morning my cousin went from 'tis a long tale,' to being 'marooned.' I didn't even know what that meant, but I do now because Rachel informed me. But it sounds entertaining. And 'manglin' one's 'portrait' sounds way more fun than just changing your profile picture. Also, 'yer scurvy self be appreciatin' this,' is ten times cooler than 'I like this.' It is confusing, but it might be worth it for the entertainment value when people 'demand that ye be mateys.' Also, my wealth of pirate jokes got us a free tin of cookies last time I talked to our office supply account manager guy. Top that! Oh, geez, now I have that terrible rap in my head (you know, the one from Teen Witch, the one they brought up on 30 Rock recently, just when I thought I had forgotten it.).

So, probably none of my family watches Keeping Up With the Kardashians, but at my house, we do. It's ridiculous and they are all horrible to each other, but we do. Anyway, it just came back and the episode was about how one of them had to go to jail for violating her parole by skipping out of DUI classes to go on a vacation to another country. She was supposed to go for 30 days, but got out within three hours because of overcrowding. She took it pretty well, with humor, unlike her family, who were awful. Ans he oldest sister made her go out to eat with them when she got out and then the sister proceeded to get completely plastered, which, nice. They mentioned it on Jezebel and some girl commented that driving drunk is something that 90% of all college students do or have done. That rings very false to me. I have never driven drunk, in college or now, and most of my friends haven't either. I do know people who have, but I think she pulled that statistic out of her butt. And you?

Aaargh

Seriously, Saudi Arabia? Giving a 75 year old woman 40 lashes?! Because a young guy and his friend brought her some bread?! I don't know if that's better or worse than the 100 lashes for the woman who was gang-raped.

I think the problem with the internet is just what Michael Scott thinks is the beautiful thing about the internet: that anyone can write anything they want about anything. And then stupid people read it and take it as gospel. They would say, wind up trying to convince you that potatoes are blue, and it must be true because they read it on the internet. So maybe stupidity is really the problem. Yes, so let's work on fixing that.

Hah! This blog just came in handy at work. We were trying to figure out our AT&T bill, and needed to know what days our phones were down when we had the bad weather, and since I complained about that here, I was able to look up the answer no one else had. Yeah, I am ridiculous...