Would Nazi zombies be more discriminating as to which brains they would eat?

So, my crick got worse today. To the point where, when talking to someone I must have inadvertently tilted my head and I had to stop and close my eyes. She was like, it's hitting you like lightning, isn't it? That sounds about right, yeah. Anyway, I saw this and it's pretty much the funniest thing I've seen in a long while. Except for something else that I'm saving for another day, but it's really going to be more for Rachel than anyone else. I love that someone decided to use Jalopnik's tips to warn others about Nazi zombies! Also, if you watch this on silent it's very reminiscent of watching a film about zombies. It starts with random footage of everyday stuff, shot at strange angles. The only thing missing is zombies in the background of said shots, wandering about looking for brains to munch on.

We still can't make long distance calls from work. Cell service has been questionable. And our internet was out all day at work, as well as our server for the whole morning. Yeah, awesome. My head hurts. I've had a dull migraine for a week. I keep getting a crick in my neck. I can hardly sleep. I guess I've gotten too accustomed to the amitriptyline because I keep waking up all the time like before. I keep catching myself making the wrinkle between my eyebrows deeper. Let's see, what else can I complain about? I suck. I'm sorry. I feel like crap, physically and emotionally and am having a hard time getting over it.

call me morbid or absurd

I think I might be a jerk. I was reading this article about how Oprah had an intervention for overweight teens and their parents, and when I got to the line, "The purpose of this large group therapy session..." I was like, yeah, it's large, it's a bunch of obese kids! Duh.

Anyway, AT&T is all kinds of down here today. Cell phones have no signal and on the land lines, while we can make local calls and receive long distance calls, we are unable to make long distance calls. Makes our day just that little bit more fun.

She's complicated, like the DaVinci Code, except harder to crack.

Over the weekend, Shannon and I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was pretty good. I know Rachel doesn't care for nudity in movies, but seriously all the nudity was male. Which is unusual, but it was also pretty weird. I think it was just there for the funny factor. It was actually a better movie than I thought it would be. But then, I have low expectations for pretty much all movies now. There were some pretty funny parts, and I now want someone to write Dracula: The Musical. There were also a couple jokes about Kristen Bell's career that were not wrong, and she took it well. And as ever, Paul Rudd and Jack McBrayer were terrific and can just about do no wrong.

Is anyone else tired of all those Taken trailers playing all the freaking time?! The first time I saw one I was like, that looks terrible! The second time I was like, why is Liam Neeson in this movie? And now, the more I see them, the more I want to watch Liam Neeson kicking some butt. It's rotting my brain, and I haven't even seen it!

I have a Flexeril hangover.

Ugh. I so did not want to get up this morning. Not even a little. Last night I had a nasty migraine, as far as those things go. My jaw was so tight that every time I opened it, it made noises. So I took a 10mg Flexeril. Then I took some more, plus an Imitrex. Yum. I was finally starting to feel better when Shannon was like, oh no, maybe you shouldn't mix those with amitriptyline! I really didn't care by that point, because all I wanted to was to be less-pained enough that I could go to sleep, but she was fairly concerned that I was going to sedate myself to death or something. Which, obviously not. Also, either I'm so stressing that I am overcoming the sedating effects of said amitriptyline, or I am just accustomed to it now, because I haven't upped my dose in a while and now I keep waking up at night. I was really enjoying sleeping like a regular person for a time.

A lot of good cars are Japanese...

Did anyone watch the Duggars' show last night? I've only watched the first half hour one where they plan the wedding so far; the hour-long wedding one is going to have to wait until this evening. Anyway, if you did watch, did you think that weird man who was their waiter was messing with them? Shannon and I were like, he has to be messing with them, he must be, unless he's just really weird. And then he invited himself to the wedding and started talking about tantric dancing and how he would wear a pastel leotard. Then we decided he was definitely messing with them and was just incredibly good at doing it deadpan. Right?

I was doing jazz hands, but it doesn't really translate in a photo

So, here is a photo of me and the purple tights. They kind of look blue here, but they are in actuality very purple. Also, I straightened my hair. I am unsure how I feel about this.

This is the apple-tini I had tonight. Apple-tini five!!

Blepharospasms are fun...not

I just got the urge to go, "Psych!" A wife of one of the VPs at work just asked me to be her FaceBook friend. I quickly scanned my FB page for anything inappropriate. Don't worry, I am in the clear. This blog is not linked to my FB. And I only say weird things ont here, not actually inappropriate things. Although, I saw the movie Unfaithful in the theater with this lady, my dad, and her mother-in-law (which, AWKward!). I think she might know me well enough to just be like, yeah.

Anyway, I am doing the Financial Peace University at church and this Sunday was the first session. They want you to do a basic budget and they have a suggested one to help you get started. They apparently think cable costs $21 a month. Umm...yeah, times six! But then, we do have not just the basic, plus the DVR, plus the cable modem. Maybe you can get basic for $20. I do want to downgrade the channels we get, but I am keeping the DVR and the cable modem. We don't watch half the channels we have, but Shannon wants to keep Showtime until the season of one of their shows is over. And Showtime is totally the suckiest pay channel. They don't have any good movies.

So you're telling me we have a new president, and he's BLACK? Double check that, that can't be right

Woot! Woot Bitches! That's right, no more George W! I finally voted for the winner, plus did you hear that inaugural speach? Brought tears to my eyes, seriously he's awesome.

I showed the LDS men my underpants!

I know that I haven't conributed lately, but I felt compelled to share the latest humiliation from the paneled palace with everyone. Sunday evening while Andrea was attending church I took advantage of my alone time to take a bath and then lounge in my underpants and a wifebeater. Around seven I heard a tap on the door, assuming that it was Andrea arriving home I shouted over the Kanye West song blaring from my computer "Are you alone?" When I heard a tap in response I gathered that she had her hands full and bounded loudly to the door. Without looking out the curtain I pulled the door open to be met by two clean cut young gentlemen in suits wearing backpacks. My jaw dropped while I slammed the door and shouted, "SHIT" at the top of my lungs. I guess that now it would be pertinent to share that the aforementioned wife beater was fairly sheer and left little to the imagination.

I dashed to my room and threw on pants and a zip up hoodie that I heald together rather than fastening. I returned to the door praying that I would find myself alone on the front porch. No such luck, I was met with two shiny faced LDS missionaries with a copy of the Book of Mormon hoping to proselytize.

"Is Eric home?" asked the leader of the two not meeting my shameful gaze.

I responded that no one lived here by that name and proceeded to try to get rid of the uninvited guests. They had come over looking for a previous member of the local church while they were in the area but since they found me they figured they might as well try to get another convert under their belts. Being completely mortified I couldnt bring myself to be my usual charming self that normally sends LDS missionaries running for the street as quickly as possible. Ten minutes later the visitors left with our names in a little notebook and Saturday at 1:00 pencilled in as a time to come and visit.

This weekend Andrea and I are going to allow these gentlemen into our home, while fully dressed, and ask them questions. After reading Under the Banner of Heaven we are both brimming with questions about their faith. Should be a hoot.

Happy Rex Manning Day!

How freaking adorable were President Obama's daughters' coats? I want both of them. The coats, not the children. And how sweet was that letter the Bush girls wrote to the Obama girls? Way to go with being nice to little kids. Shannon actually wound up taking lunch while I was at lunch, so we were chatting and she is super excited because it's the first time the person she voted for actually got sworn in. She was a little punch-drunk on happiness. It made for a fun lunch. Also, Joe Biden's mom is adorable. I love how they had blankets piled up on her. Old people are so cute, and vulnerable to the cold.

I don't have to work tomorrow. It's a good thing too, since I'm not even a little sleepy and it's way past my bed time.

...I'm still wide awake. I was Free Rice-ing it up. I don't have any books that I feel like reading. There's nothing on TV. And I just checked and there aren't even any marathons on tomorrow. The only holiday I get that I'm actually not out of town for and there's not even a piddling House marathon. Come on. Throw me a bone here!

Shannon and I went to breakfast at Mary's and saw a man wearing assless chaps over his jeans. I'm pretty sure I'd never seen someone actually wearing those.

As promised, pictures of the dungeon

Just so you know, this is not the first time we've had to go to the dungeon, it's just the only time we've had to be down there for more than 2 minutes. Let the tour commence!

This is what you see to the left when you come down the stairs. I have no idea what those wires are or why they are hanging there.

This is what is on the right at the bottom of the stairs. The dark mass is where a pipe comes up and ends. It comes from nowhere and goes no where.

This is what you see directly in front of you when you come down the stairs. This is where the pipes we need to kep warm are. That blue thing hanging down is an old towel shoved up there to try to insulate them. The wood is blocking the door to the backyard (not a real door, but like, a crawlspace kind of midget door, because it doesn't start on the outside until at least halfway up that piece of wood.). Our landlord has a habit of half-assing things. A man after our own hearts.

More creepiness.

This is the back. It's what is under our dining room. It's somehow creepier back there, where the ground is piled higher and weird stuff is sticking up. Also, note the cement blocks under the poles. Ugh.

You remove this kid's eye, he's only going to be half as good at not making eye contact.

Yeah, so the pipes in the kitchen froze yesterday. But an extension cord, a hair dryer and the dungeon helped unfreeze the part down there, while a space heater in the cabinet unfroze the top. So the water was running again by 11 last night. Yay! Also, our dungeon is super creepy, not to mention the poles that are held up by cement blocks that make me kind of nervous as to how precariously the house is held together. I'll try to remember to take a photo down there and show you guys, since Mark is the only one who's ever been to the Paneled Palace, and he didn't even see all of it. Doing dishes in the bathtub is easier than doing them in the kitchen sink in some ways. The amount of room you have, for one thing. Anyway, that was just about the perfect end to a crappy week. Score. I have five blankets in my living room. I bought none of them. Why do people give other people throw blankets as presents? Especially when none of the people who gave me the blankets had ever seen my house or my furniture. Yet all but one of the blankets go really well with the furniture. Although matching is not something we are overly concerned with here at the Paneled Palace, it's just a plus (to me, at least. I think Shannon doesn't care at all).

It's like your parents never forget your past stupidity

I turned on the TV at my house a few minutes ago. There was a picture, but no sound. After doing a few minutes of troubleshooting with no luck, I called my dad. The first thing he said was, "Well, the remote for that does have a mute button." Seriously, Dad?! I am not a moron. I am aware of the existence of mute buttons. I used to use them all the time before I had a DVR. I would mute and then turn on the closed captioning when the phone rang or whatever. I checked the mute button on the TV remote, the cable remote and I even checked the DVD recorder (the cable runs through the DVD recorder, which runs into the TV) remote for a mute option before I called him. I also tried turning off those three devices and turning them back on, and I even pulled out the DVR and checked the connections in the back. I have not been my father's daughter for the past 26 years for nothing. Which he learned after he started making suggestions and learned I had already done all of them. So I wound up unplugging it for a minute and that seemed to reboot it and it works now. But, seriously?! The mute button?! No.

Also, I just watched Shannon put what had to be more than half a cup of sugar on the bowl of Chex she was about to eat. Color me disturbed.

I am wearing the purple tights. ;)

it will expand a little

So...last night was weird. Or maybe not really weirder than usual. Also, I went somewhere Saturday and was talking about this, forgetting that I didn't really know the one girl and she looked totally shocked. But that is insane. And funny, but also really not funny, since it undoubtedly would help save some women's lives, or at least a beating. I think my favorite part is that it appears to come in packs of two. And they are cheaper when you buy two or three. And that "you will pass through undetectable." Hilarious and sad.

After spending five hours at church this morning, I came home and put on my PJ pants and Shannon and I watched stoner movies, many of which feature Fred Willard. Anyway, I just went outside to move my car so she could take hers to get us some Fazoli's for dinner. I went to find a pair of slip-on shoes, since it's cold and came up with one blue plaid one and one brown leather one. As I was walking out the door wearing PJ pants, my grammar t-shirt and white socks with ladybugs on them and mismatched shoes, I was like, dude, I think you are rubbing off on me in a big way (she spent the better part of the day wearing vertical stripe PJ pants, a black tank top, and a horizontal stripe cardigan, with a houndstooth coat added when she went out to smoke-we are classy dames). To be fair, some of my stuff is rubbing off on her too. I've got her saying 'balls,' enough that her sister has picked it up too. ;)

Am I too old to wear purple tights? I bought some because Shannon was with me and she was all, "Yeah!" And I was thinking they would work with this black dress I have, but now I think perhaps not. I don't know.

a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth

We are looking for my replacement at work. Three girls were interviewed; my supervisor was telling me yesterday that we're going to put an ad in the paper, which is something we didn't want to do. I asked her what was wrong with the ones she interviewed and she said, "They're ok. They're just not you." It made me laugh. Seriously? Apparently she enjoys how I speak without pausing to think whether my comments are stupid or snarky. Or whether they are appropriate for my audience. If you need examples of my stupidity, they can be provided upon request. Eh. I'm working on it.

Argh

My taste buds are back. Just in time for me to burn them with some chai. Oops. So, I know you kids know about how I have that weirdness where sometimes my eyelids get red and puffy and start peeling. It used to be only in the winter, but now it's just whenever they feel like it. I have had a couple of different prescriptions for it, some from my regular doctor and some from the eye doctor. Neither of them seemed to know what really causes it, but that didn't stop them from giving me corticosteroids and antibiotic ointments. Both of which really help, but since you should not use those for long... Anyway, when I went to the dermatologist a while back, he was also uncertain as to what it is (Which, seriously? Why must I have such ridiculous skin problems that even specialists in that area can't identify?! The eyelid thing is actually not even the first time I've had a derm be unable to identify something.), but he gave me some Protopic samples, which is something I'd not been given before. I used some for the first time last night and I woke up because my eyelids were burning. They're still burning now, even though I totally washed my face. I asked Shannon what she knew about Protopic, since she was a pharmacy tech for years and also sometimes has medical problems. She said she'd been given that to put on cystic acne. That makes me want to never put it on my eyelids again. And since the doctor gave me samples of it, I didn't even have the info inserts to read, so I looked it up. Apparently after applying Protopic, you should wash yours hands unless that was where you intended to put it. Also, burning, itching or redness are common side effects that go away after using for a couple of days. Really? I'm supposed to continue to put something that my skin is obviously protesting on my person? I think not, although it depends on how masochistic I am feeling at bedtime.

Two songs that made me happy just now

A classic silly song, of course.

And this song was the backing for our sermon series bumper video a couple of months ago and I kept forgetting to look up what it was. I really like it.

When I was sitting in the airport in Boston today, they played How Bizarre. That made me smile because the first time I went to Boston, approximately eleven years ago (for a week long mission trip), that song was on the radio every time our group got in a car. It was almost like our trip song.

I should spend more time with the dog...

I went to Boston. It was cold. I came back. It's cold here. I think traveling alone gives me to much time for introspection. I know I've always been very self-conscious, but that doesn't mean I'm always self-aware. I mean, I know that when I get excited or worked up about something, I get loud and I tend to talk faster. And I know that I'm almost incapable of talking without using my hands (seriously, even on the phone sometimes). At my work Christmas party we played Catchphrase, which is pretty much the opposite of charades, and when other people would start to use their hands, everybody would be like, no using your hands! But I used my hands pretty much every time and no one said anything to me. I think maybe it's because they know my hands are almost as important as my vocal folds in my speech. Anyway, for some reason whenever I start thinking too much I think about the New Year's Eve episode of My So-Called Life when Angela is talking about how she thinks she thinks too much and that she should stop, but then she's like, well, then I would be shallow. I feel like I've mentioned that before. Or maybe I just thought about it. I was telling Shannon how I think I'm ill-equipped to judge other people's levels of weirdness because I think I'm weird, but I am unsure as to precisely how weird I am. I mean, my own father told me I'm eccentric. He wasn't being mean or anything, but he wasn't completely kidding. Whatever.

I did absolutely nothing yesterday. And it was totally awesome. I read two books and we watched the marathon of The Secret Life of the American Teenager that was on ABC Family all day long. I kept checking the weather reports, and finally decided that since there is still a 90% chance of snow in Boston on Wednesday, I should book a flight leaving Tuesday evening. At least this way I can be certain I will get there. This does mean that I will have to do laundry tonight and start packing up so I can finish in the morning before work and not have to come back to the house, since that's not on the way to I65.

Oops

So I managed to accidentally chew up my amitriptyline last night, which made my tongue and the roof of my mouth numb for about an hour. That was disturbing enough, since I figured the worst that would happen was that it would taste bad, which it really did. But now nothing tastes. It doesn't taste bad, just not really at all. It's very disconcerting. I can only assume it will get better within a few days...

New Year's was fun. Second one we've all spent with Dave and Rachel now. And I'm such a lucky kid that I got two grammar books for Christmas! I'm such a giant nerd and everyone knows it. Mark, Ashley, and I stayed up late Thursday night watching Half Ton Mom, Half Ton Dad and Half Ton Teen. It was so disturbing. Mark did give up by the time Half Ton Teen came on. We were all having trouble wrapping our heads around how anyone could possibly eat 30,000 calories a day. And also how someone could weigh 700 pounds at 19 years old. Seriously? And I have now seen Twilight, and apparently I am the only person around who doesn't find the dude particularly attractive. Also, it seemed to me that he spent more time concentrating on masking his accent than he did on his acting. I did covet Kristen Stewart's hair, though.

I have to go to Boston either Tuesday night or Wednesday. I haven't booked my flight yet because I was trying to wait and see if the weather forecast would change and it would be safe for me to fly out on Wednesday, rather than on Tuesday because there's a chance of snow Wednesday, thus a chance of flights being cancelled or delayed. It's hard to think about snow when it's 63 degrees out. I have stuff I need to do at work, so if I can go Wednesday it would be most helpful.