I know that I haven't conributed lately, but I felt compelled to share the latest humiliation from the paneled palace with everyone. Sunday evening while Andrea was attending church I took advantage of my alone time to take a bath and then lounge in my underpants and a wifebeater. Around seven I heard a tap on the door, assuming that it was Andrea arriving home I shouted over the Kanye West song blaring from my computer "Are you alone?" When I heard a tap in response I gathered that she had her hands full and bounded loudly to the door. Without looking out the curtain I pulled the door open to be met by two clean cut young gentlemen in suits wearing backpacks. My jaw dropped while I slammed the door and shouted, "SHIT" at the top of my lungs. I guess that now it would be pertinent to share that the aforementioned wife beater was fairly sheer and left little to the imagination.
I dashed to my room and threw on pants and a zip up hoodie that I heald together rather than fastening. I returned to the door praying that I would find myself alone on the front porch. No such luck, I was met with two shiny faced LDS missionaries with a copy of the Book of Mormon hoping to proselytize.
"Is Eric home?" asked the leader of the two not meeting my shameful gaze.
I responded that no one lived here by that name and proceeded to try to get rid of the uninvited guests. They had come over looking for a previous member of the local church while they were in the area but since they found me they figured they might as well try to get another convert under their belts. Being completely mortified I couldnt bring myself to be my usual charming self that normally sends LDS missionaries running for the street as quickly as possible. Ten minutes later the visitors left with our names in a little notebook and Saturday at 1:00 pencilled in as a time to come and visit.
This weekend Andrea and I are going to allow these gentlemen into our home, while fully dressed, and ask them questions. After reading Under the Banner of Heaven we are both brimming with questions about their faith. Should be a hoot.
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4 comments:
In my experience, they won't talk about the Fundamentalists featured in Krakauer's book. And you know, there are always a few screwheads that make entire groups look stupid. I'm not saying I agree with the LDS Church; you can't spell Mormon without moron.
Hah. Yeah, we realize that the ones around here are not FLDS, but we still have questions pertaining to Mormonism in general.
Such as what? I am interested to know...
Yeah, they hate it up at the gas station when I show up in my speedos!
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