Really, other people who play 20Q on the 'puter? Really?

So I was playing 20 Questions on the 'puter and I think there's something wrong with people, in general. Apparently other users have taught 20Q that Bring It On is: a) romantic, b) realistic, c) inspirational, d) does not feature memorable music, and most heinous of all, e) not ridiculous! What does that movie inspire people to do?! And how can you not find it ridiculous?!

Names. Eh.

So, Dave harrassed me into joining his Mafia on Facebook. Now I can't stop. Thanks, Dave. Also, I need to change my mafia name, but I have no idea to what. And Rachel, I'm sorry I got you and your dad shot today. Oops. Thoughts on ridiculous names for me? If I can't come up with something mafia-related, I may go with something from my post about the roller derby...Oh! I just came up with something that is either awesome or super stupid. I'm going to have to mull it over before I share. You know how I do.

Fun times at work

The other day at work, a guy who works at the center we just took over in New York called for me and while I was on the phone with him, I was like, hey, we have the same name, as his name was Andrew. I don't know why I said this, because I'm usually not as dumb at work, but then I was like, it means manly. He was like, that's good for me, but not so good or you. And then he was like, I'm sure you're very womanly. I was like, I was not really questioning the level of my femininity, but ok. It was really weird because he emphasized the very, like a lot. And then I think he realized how weird the conversation had gotten because we were both quiet for a minute. And then we got off the phone. I felt really stupid when I had to call him back a few minutes later with some information. Yeah, I'm super professional all the time...which is good because we've all been working way more than 8 hours a day lately. ;)

I love that the article's address is 'sperm like an Egyptian'

So, this mother is so in denial it's not even funny. Or it actually is funny. She is suing a hotel, claiming her daughter got pregnant from stray sperm in the swimming pool. Wow. Discuss.

A short rant...

So, even though I am usually a terrible feminist, yesterday I was watching TV and got all bent out of shape. It was some reality program and this chick was like, "OK, you girls went out there and did that like men and I really respect that." A woman, telling other women that because they did something lik men, she respected them! What is wrong with women doing things like women? Why isn't that enough to garner respect?

Vehicular issues

So, Shannon's car broke at the end of last week, which was unfortunate. But then on Sunday, while we were in Louisville, it turned out that one of my cousins is trying to sel his car. So, my aunt told me to drive it back to BG and have our mechanic look at it, which I did. And it seems to be in good shape, so we'll see where that goes. But it was very fortuitous to have an extra car around. Today, Shannon couldn't get my car to start when she was trying to leave work. So that's awesomely ridiculous. But my parents are out of town, so I happen to be able to use one of their cars! Things just keep falling into place right now. I mean, other than the part about my car breaking, although it does just prove I've been right to be so worried about it....

I just spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out whether today is Tuesday or Wednesday. I landed on Tuesday and then looked at a calendar. I am so off lately. I honestly have very little idea of what is going on. I miss having a desk that is mine, so I carry stacks of paper around with me everywhere. I found a post-it on the doorjamb of a doorway I'd been standing in, having a conversation with someone earlier. I do recall putting the post-it there, because I kept fiddling with it. And then I walked past that same doorway like 6 times before I found the post-it, and it was totally neon green. And I wasn't wandering around looking for it; I kind of forgot about the post-it and the task info I wrote on it until it registered in my consciousness again. Oops...

I was watching part of Snakes on a Plane yesterday because...well, because it was on TV. Anyway, I think all of North America knows what Samuel L. Jackson says about the snakes when he gets fed up because it was everywhere whenever it was that that movie came out. On cable, that line became, "I have had it with these monkeyfying snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" It made me giggle and wonder what the censors were smoking, or if maybe they thought it was hilarious too.

sometimes I think it would be much easier to be a guy...

So, I'm on the tech team at church. I do graphics and camera, albeit not simultaneously, although I have done graphics and light that way. Anyway, recently we changed the way we do the schedules for the month by having each task report to one person what days they would like off in a given month and then that person makes up the camera section for the month, or the graphics or sound and whatnot. I think I am getting screwed by this new system. I was hardly on at all last month and this month I am only graphics for the two Wednesday night services. I was talking to my dad about it and I was like, well maybe Frank thinks I suck at graphics and so he doesn't want to put me on Sundays and maybe David thinks I suck at camera (which, sometimes I do...) so he only put me on once or twice, I can't recall. My dad was like, "No you don't, why don't you ask them about it?" Not likely... A few days later, at the Wednesday night service, my dad was like, oh, I talked to Frank and he said he thought you only did Wednesdays, so that's why he did that. Not because you're bad at it; he said you do a great job. I was like, oh, awesome. I am totally 27 years old and my dad just talked to somebody for me. And he kind of made fun of me for thinking it was because I suck. I was like, if it were you being cut back, wouldn't you wonder if it was because you were crappy...oh, wait, no, you are a dude, and have never had self-doubt issues and also the tech and worship teams would be lost without you. Why do I always think I am the problem? Really, historically, I haven't been, so why have I always thought that?

Am I crazy or is not hilarious that a dude left a Sex and the City Trivia Game on the steps of Civil War monument and then the bomb squad was called in, as hot pink question cards blew into a fountain?

action-packed, as always

This weekend Shannon and I went to see Terminator: Salvation. Honestly, I kind of forgot I saw it, which is why it's Tuesday and I'm just now writing about it. Not that anyone actually cares about my movie thoughts. Anyway, it wasn't bad. It certainly wasn't good and I feel like it kind of messed with the Terminator canon a little, but maybe that was just me. There were plenty of explosions and whatnot. I am just still having a hard time forming any kind of cohesive thoughts about it. So, Dave will like it and Mark, if he ever gets to see it. Confession: when I'm watching a movie and it sucks, I start writing a blog post in my head about the ways that it sucks. When I watch a good movie, I start composing a post about how it's awesome as soon as it's over. Which is kind of sad, now that I think about it. But anyway, it's somewhat telling to me that after this movie was over, we walked out, went 'huh...' and then went to the grocery.

Also, we recently rented Quarantine, which was ok. It was kind of gross, as most scary movies have a tendency to be now. I don't love that. I don't mind some gore, but I want it to be awesome or funny, like Jason kind of gore. There's entirely too much sadism in movies now, to the point where there are very few genuinely scary movies, just a lot of crappy ones with a lot of action that will make you kind of queasy. And that sucks because I love scary movies that actually scare you and make you a little creeped out when you go to bed after watching them. Anyway, Quarantine was alright. My Bloody Valentine, on the other hand, had the potential to be awesome. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I had seen it in 3-D in the theater, I would have thought it was hilarious, as you could totally tell which effects were pandering to the 3-D audience. But at least it wasn't gross. It was definitely reminiscent of Jason movies, with some gaping plot holes, and an ending you see coming a mile away, but it was pretty fun, as far as horror movies go. Rachel would probably like it more than Dave, since he doesn't get our love for terribly cheesy horror movies. Also, I heard Drag Me To Hell is pretty awesome, in a Raimi kind of way, and I totally want to see it, but no one will go with me. But, Evil Dead, you guys! Come on!

Started out as Hogwarts...

This literal version of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart made me giggle. "Emo Kid is throwing slo-mo dove at my face" "ninjas!" Watch up to the fencing and if you don't find it amusing, then feel free to stop...

I was watching part of the National Spelling Bee last night, and I got all excited because I am a dork. Those words were insane and the kids would just rattle them off like it was nothing. I only watched about fifteen minutes, but I did know four of the words, which was kind of awesome. And this morning I heard the winning word and I totally know that word too! Thanks, Reverend Doctor Jason Pettus, for teaching us about Laodiceans and their lukewarm gross water pipes!

I think I got the blade of the double-edged sword...

I spent just over $120 at the pharmacy today. The good part is I did get five different prescriptions. The bad part is that four of them were only ten dollars each. Yeah. So, this stuff had better work really well. It's some stuff for the eye allergy issues that recur. Apparently if you use steroids on your eyes frequently, you might get glaucoma. So even though my insurance refused to pay for this non-steroid because they want me to use steroids and get glaucoma, I got it anyway. Because I do not want any more issues with my eyes...and because I have been using more steroids than my doctor gave me on the whole eye thing because I have the hook-up and they work. Oops. I hope it works, because if it doesn't then I am stuck with a giant tube of $90 crap.

I guess I've been busy. I have kind of gotten out of the habit of doing this. Ummm...Those commercials for the new Late Show with Conan O'Brien where he's running down the beach in slow motion while Eye of the Tiger plays crack me up. Too bad I'm old and can't manage to stay up that late anymore. Although he will now be a whole hour earlier than before, so maybe I can occasionally catch it. I still don't understand the whole thing with them giving Leno his own show. That is not cool. Also, I do not understand who watches Leno and/or likes him. He is mostly just annoying to me.

I am looking for someone who wants a free trip to Boston. One caveat: you have to go with me. But, free!

Fortune Charades

Last night Shannon and I went to Kyoto for dinner. When I opened my fortune cookie, I was chewing, so Shannon was like, act it out! From my attempts, she came up with, "When you're making cake, don't break your forearm." Which is not even close, but totally funny. Fortune charades are so much more fun than adding "in bed" or "because I'm a lesbian" to the end of the fortune. Although that episode of Law and Order was completely out of the blue. Anyway, fortune charades will soon sweep the nation.

P.S.-The correct answer was "Hard words break no bones, but fine words butter no parsnips." Which doesn't make a lot of sense and led to a discussion about what, exactly, a parsnip is.

Am I almost too weird to function?

When Shannon and I went to the movies last week, while the commercials were on I was like, oh, dude, lean close to me and smell my neck. Shannon was like, ok and started to and then went, "Wait. What?" Am I so random that people almost think it's normal for me to ask them to smell my neck? By the way, it was because I was trying to get an opinion on whether my new perfume (Wisteria) smells too mature for me; I'm not completely random. Also, I think I don't care even if it is because it smells so good.

I went to get my hair cut last night and I was thinking of getting a body wave kind of perm. Not a perm perm like my mom had in the 80s and 90s. I've never had a perm, but I want the front of my hair to be as wavy as the back. Anyway, the girl who was cutting my hair was like, yeah that would do what you want, but it would cost more than $100. Apparently my hair is so long and thick it would take 4 boxes of stuff. Nevermind that then. Also, I don't know why I can never manage to go get my hair trimmed and actually just get a trim. Usually the people are just chop happy and I never wind up losing any less than three inches. So maybe my hair doesn't grow as slowly as I think, since I don't take that into account. And I lost three inches this time because the back was apparently extremely uneven. I was like, I swear I didn't do it to myself! If I had done it myself, it would not have been uneven. Trust. Maybe I should think about spending more than $20 on my hair...

The residents of Ye Olde Paneled Palace discuss Wolverine

Shannon: That was some of the worst dialogue I've heard in a long time!

Andrea: I know! A four year old could have written that.

Shannon: Maybe Addie wrote that movie!

Andrea: No, if Addie had written it, there would be more singing. Hugh Jackman might have still been in it, but Zac Efron would have made an appearance.

Yeah, when I got home from work at 7:15, in the span of fifteen minutes I decided I wanted to 1- go to a bar, 2-go to bed, 3-get a haircut, and finally, the one Shannon agreed to, 4-go to a movie. So we went to a 7:50 showing of Wolverine, which was not bad and had some cool fight scenes, but also had some cheesiness and whatnot.

I am slow

Confession: When I drove my dad's van to the 'ham this weekend to pick up the furniture and whatnot (thanks, Rachel and Dave and Rachel's mom!), this song came on that I knew. So I looked down at the Sirius thing and it said the song was called Sweet Emotion. I can't even tell you how many times I watched Dazed and Confused when i was in high school, which is weird because I didn't even drink in high school, much less use illegal substances. But anyway, that song is in that movie and I really had no clue what they were saying. But now I know!

I am being stalked by the rain...

So, I'm pretty sure that I am like that cartoon character with the rain cloud over her head. Everywhere I go lately, it rains. I drove to Birmingham Friday and it rained on me all the way through Tennessee and then rained Saturday and Sunday in Birmingham and then rained on me all the way through Tennessee again. And when I flew to Boston on Monday, it was raining in DC when we stopped there and then it rained in Boston when I got there. And it rained all day in Boston yesterday. My flight was even delayed because of all the rain. And then I come home and Shannon was like, it was really nice here and got warm. So of course, when I get up this morning it's raining again. And I like rain, but this is getting absurd. My hair hasn't been completely dry in days!

Addie was just getting ready to show us her latest dance and while she was trying to get into formation, she hit her toe ont he speaker and fell down. She was sitting on the floor, holding her foot and said, "I'm...still gonna do the dance!" And she did and it was awesome. :)

On Sunday our FPU class 'graduated.' They gave us bumper stickers, and part of our money back. I picked a bumper sticker that said 'debt is normal. be weird.' Shannon was like, you cannot put that on your car. I was like, why not? Anyone who sees my car will know I didn't go into debt (for the car, at least). Anyway, one of them was the terrible motto or whatever of FPU. The more times I hear it the more it irritates me. 'Live like no one else so later you can LIVE like no one else.' That is not an awesome slogan, if you ask me. And every week he would say it and make the audience say it and it got on my nerves more and more. Am I the only one who doesn't think it's awesome?

I had an epiphany this weekend. I can't really elucidate the details because the circumstances that led to the epiphany were somewhat questionable. But nonetheless, I figured something out. And now I'm going to try to be pro-active about stuff.

Cleaning one's home (seriously cleaning, not regular) is not so bad when it involves rum, cherry kool-aid, an old cd of awesome music and, of course, gloves and masks so it looks like you're about to either kill someone or clean up after killing someone. Shannon's mom and step-dad are coming Saturday and we didn't want her step-dad to see stuff. She was like, it's really sad that we're both afraid of my step-dad. I was like, dude, if my mom were coming over, we'd be doing the same thing.

OK, so I haven't been able to concentrate all day. Please just pray for my friend and her family who are going through something heartbreaking and also possibly miraculous right now.

I learned about a food that disturbs me today. It is a 'pie floater.' I don't know what would possess someone to place a meat pie upside down in pea soup and then cover it with tomato sauce and/or mint sauce. That sounds completely disgusting, although Wikipedia tells me that Billy Connolly loves them. I guess that's ok for him because he's Scottish and completely awesome. But eeww. What are Australians thinking?

True story: When I was eight, I had a palate expander because I have the (apparently) dominant Benz trait of a narrow upper palate. It was nothing like the one Zoe had, or even the one Mark had a few years later. It was huge and cemented in and you had to turn the key every three days. I had this fear that whoever was turning the key would drop it down my throat, so I would only let my dad turn it and I made him wrap the string the key was on around his wrist. Even as a child I was weird. I remember the day one side of it came uncemented while I was brushing my teeth. It hurt because then the other side was digging into my gums. We beat the dentist to his office that day. He was just like, oh, I guess we are finished with this now. And that dentist now lives across from my grandma. Anyway, the thing is, I thought it was called a pallid expander, because it's not like anyone showed me any literature on it and I didn't know what the roof of my mouth was called. Also, people do not enunciate and I knew that pallid was a word. You couldn't Google stuff like that back then...

Apparently BG had a tea-bagging protest the other day. On the news, they kept showing this kid who couldn't have been over 11 who was wearing a hat with ear flaps and holding a sign that said "What would Reagan do?" I was like, Shannon you missed your chance to go hold a sign like that. The year we lived together in college, there were a couple pictures of Reagan up in our shrine to Reagan because Shannon loves him so (except really not at all, in case you think I am serious about the Reagan love. I am serious about the pictures, though.). Anyway, since she missed it, we decided we just need to borrow that kid with the earflaps and the Reagan sign because he seems awesome. Seriously, how many kids really know anything about Reagan? Do you think anyone explained it to him before they gave him the sign?

OK, so I figured out why Kal Penn got killed off on House-he's leaving to do PR work for the Obama Administration. Sadness. It was kind of like that episode of ER when Gant, played by the guy who plays Foreman on House, jumped in front of a train and died rather unexpectedly.

Anyway, I made it through last week. Thanks to everybody for encouraging me. It really was that kind of week. Dave and Rachel brought me an awesome strawberry cake that said, "AL Benzes {heart} Andrea." It was so good. And my grandma made a cheesecake and then we had brownies and lemon bars. Shockingly enough, no one went into a sugar coma. The girls were all adorable and took some really good pictures. And played nicely with each other and whatnot. To give Rachel a boost this week, here is a link to Pride and Prejudice via Facebook News Feeds. And it is a masterpiece. For the boys, since I know they didn't read that book, here is The Aeneid done in FaceBook News Feeds. "The Greeks deleted the group Troy." Hah.

OK, so you know how some places make you have security questions, sometimes even when you remember your password? I was logging in to something the other day that I very rarely use and I put the name of our first pet, because that was one of the questions. That was not right. I had to think about it for a minute, because I used our first real pet, not like, the hamsters or whatever Dave caught. Then I remembered that I used Mark as my first pet for this. Yeah, little brothers are just like pets. For sure.

Funny Or Die

Rachel, this is for you, since I don't know if you've seen it yet. Also, his sad face is epic!

Zac Efron's Pool Party from Zac Efron

So, as of this morning I've already worked over 40 hours this week. I can no longer retain any information for more than a minute or two or wear my contacts more than 20 minutes before my eyes start to burn. But hey, once this week is over, it should get better. Yesterday I logged in to check my gmail for a minute and I had an email from Dave Ramsey (of the FPU) and it said, 'don't stop now Andrea! You're a gazelle!' Thanks, Dave Ramsey. I did need that reminder that I was more than halfway throught the week and not to give up. I didn't actually open it, as I'm sure it was not anything that would help me right now, but I thought it was funny.

My parents called me this morning. First problem was that my mom was all, did we wake you? Uh, no, since I haven't slept past 9 in like 3 years. Second problem was that they called because they're cleaning out their attic. My mom was all, do you want to come help? Uh, the only thing I want to do less today than clean out your attic is clean my own kitchen. Which hasn't happened yet, but we'll get to it. The rest of the house is clean now. I worked 50 hours this week and I'm seriously considering going in tomorrow. If I can make it through the next two weeks, then I will be ok. It's just really crazy right now, which if you care I'll explain later. But whatever.

Things I do not miss about working at the clinic:

Constant papercuts from pulling charts. So, not just paper cuts, but deep cuts from manila folders. Yeah, I have been pulling files today, and some of them were already put up in banker's boxes, so I even have a couple of cardboard cuts. Thrills!

Researchers say that people who grew up with at least one sister are happier, more ambitious, more emotionally balanced, and more successful than people who only had brothers. So, you're welcome, Dave and Mark. Why did you have to screw me like that, though? Why does everyone else benefit from my existence, but not me? What's that? Am I being a whiny middle child? No, but thanks for asking. Besides, I did get Rachel while I was still a teenager and I think she's helped me be less insane than I was then. I like to think we help each other out with that, but maybe not. Maybe I'm marginally saner because I matured or something. Or not. Besides, once Mark got to be 8 or 9 or so, I decided I couldn't handle having a little sister like I wanted up to that point. Mark was trouble enough... And then later, Dave.

In case you were wondering, it's not really an awesome idea to hula hoop while wearing pants with an elastic waist...

OK, well now I know what I should buy next fall. Although I had not heard of the 'freedom blanket' or 'blankoat' before. There was a third that I had heard of, but it was more than the 'slanket' and I don't remember what it was called. I had pretty much decided that the slanket was my best bet, it was just that it was more, so I dragged my feet until it got mostly warm.

Eewww

Why would someone zoom in on an ear like that? It's the bottom picture that makes the top make sense. I did not need to see that. Rachel, your pal Efron needs some ear cleaning lessons.

I still try to watch SNL sometimes...

OK, Alec Baldwin hosted SNL on Valentine's Day, with musical guests the Jonas Brothers. I missed it then, but recorded it last night (What? Baldwin is hilarious!). This probably won't be as funny to people who don't have a niece who spent a summer calling the Jonas Brothers the Jonuts/Donuts, but you should watch it anyway. She's a genius, just like Great-Grandma says! Also, IMDB tells me that his daughter Ireland goes by Addie. Random!

This digital short is not really very funny, except for the video parts. They're awesome the way the Robin Sparkles videos are awesome. The crazy faces the middle one makes while singing definitely look far less out of place here. What? I watched Camp Rock with Zoe last summer because I am a good aunt (Trust me, it was better than The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl and I made it through that with her. Although really, having my tonsils removed was preferable to that movie, so that's not saying much for Camp Rock. But still.).

Random!

I just watched episodes of two completely different shows back to back and you know what they had in common? Shrödinger's cat was mentioned in both. What are the odds of that?

Somehow, the internets know I have had the longest of long weeks and decided to make it up to me with this. If my week hadn't sucked so hard, I would bother to write it up all fancy like, with some 5 dollar words. But it did and so I do not care. One more hour and I can go home and drink some rum, watch some bad tv and go to bed. Possibly not the rum. Depends on how this headache goes.

Curious...

Last night when I was going to bed it was hot in my room because I had been running the dryer (the laundry room is attached to my room, since none of you have been privileged enough to visit The Paneled Palace). So I took off my pj pants because I can't sleep without a cover, but sans pants, plus cover is totally ok. It was rainy and windy last night and I recall waking up several times. When I got up this morning I was wearing pants. I don't remember putting on pants any of the times I was awakened by the weather. Hmm...

Is anyone else disturbed by those Old Navy 'town gown' commercials? They're just so weird and incredibly stupid... Who decided that the creepy mannequins were a good idea?

Shannon was rereading the later Harry Potter books the past week or so, and so I was rereading them after her, but we didn't have the last one. So she bought it in hardcover because they don't have it in paperback yet, but then she left it at her grandma's house, so now I can't read it. And apparently it's not coming out in paperback until this July. That book has been out for nearly 2 years! That's just mean. I refuse to pay $25 for it. While looking for it, I noticed the lists on the side and one was called, 'my favorite chapter books' by Claudia Kishi. Wasn't Claudia Kishi a character in The Babysitter's Club books? The one with a learning disability, crazy clothes and a love for candy, whose house they always met at?

I just found out Christopher Walken Twitters. That definitely has potential for awesomeness...scratch that, it is completely as awesome as you might hope.

...like tiny thermometers that come in turkeys...

If you want to laugh so hard you might cry, you should read this. Parental discretion is advised. It is seriously hilarious; two out of two people I know who read it agree. If you don't think it's funny, just ask me to read it to you next time I see you.

"We're misunderstood-deep down inside us there is good."

I feel like once I start talking about something, it keeps popping up everywhere to entertain me at every turn. Today, that something is West Side Story. Which I totally loved when I was a kid and thought Anita was all awesome, all the time. And here is where it popped up now-Vanity Fair. I'm not really clear on why J. Lo is Anita, and everyone else is supposed to be like, young and up-and-coming hot stars or something. But some of those pictures are totally awesome. Also, I love to sing the song about being a Jet all the way. And do the dance with the crouching and snapping. Or maybe I don't.

"This is a man who had wanted to have two families." Ugh!

I don't know if any of you are following the Josef Fritzl trial, but I think I'm going to have to stop. And just in case I couldn't do it alone, the rest of the trial is going to be secret anyway. The details that have been coming out are so unbelievably awful that I feel physically ill. And the defense that he is not a monster because if he were a monster, he wouldn't have let her have the children and continue feeding them is insane. I know someone has to defend him, and they have to say something, but really? Letting his daughter have his children and only taking half of them away from her is totally cooler than if he were to use some form of birth control?! The half he didn't take from her have physical and sociological issues. They have a stoop, which I guess means they are hunchbacked, because they've spent their entire lives in a place that has ceilings that are only five feet high. Plus the fact that they've only ever interacted with four other people, have rotting teeth and gums, limited vocabulary and language skills, and undoubtedly some serious emotional issues from seeing their father/grandfather repeatedly rape their mother.

I understand you want to make finance entertaining, but it's not a f.....g game!

Shannon and I were watching The Daily Show the other day (by the way, if you weren't following the ridiculous media storm surrounding Jon Stewart's battle of words with Jim Cramer, you should totally watch Thursday's Daily Show, as Jim Cramer got totally schooled, and I think he liked it.), and for some reason they were talking about John McCain having a Twitter account. I was like, now I think we need to sign up for Twitter solely so we can subscribe to that! And Trent Reznor's Twitter...I don't know. There's something wrong with my brain, you guys. Also, I'm not so sure I care about Twitter. I mean, it's pretty much just like Facebook status updates without the Facebook part, no?

Uhhh...I don't know. I don't have any songs in my head right now...

I just realized that now that I'm officially old, I need to change my thing on my profile. But I don't know any quotes about being 27! Balls! Anyway, I am clearly a winner, because I have left my house exactly once today, and that was just to get some Coke from McDonald's this morning, because their Coke is the best and I needed it. And yet, even though I only stood on the porch to let the dog pee four times(by the way, Kazoo is so good for me that I haven't put his leash on him in weeks and he comes right back to the porch when I call him), I managed to get yelled at by an older gentleman(it wasn't entirely random, as it was someone I know, who felt the need to pull over and yell at me while I stood shivering on the porch, waiting for Kazoo to finish his business). I am that talented. Or need that much guidance? Eh. It's been a lovely day full of watching crap TV, taking a bath, and reading, thus far, three books. I was going to critique a movie I watched today for you, but I don't think anyone cares about my crap tv, so whatever. Although I don't recall mentioning on here that the weekend I went to Birmingham, Rachel and I spent most of that Saturday watching terrible made-for-TV movies about mutant snakes on the Sci-Fi channel. Dave did not get it. Anyway, I noticed today that it was mutant fish movie day on Sci-Fi, featuring one of the same movies that was on for mutant snake movie day, Snakehead Terror; a wonderful argument for the wonderful films that are made in Canada. I did not watch it today, merely laughed and proceeded to watch things from the DVR. Things like Ugly Betty, something I'm not overly excited about but continue to watch. This episode did feature someone wearing purple tights. On the other hand, it also featured America Ferrara saing she 'could care less' about something or other. That really irritates me because it is all wrong. Like people who say literally, when what they mean is figuratively. Ugh.

Also, I don't know how this happens, but anytime Shannon has to run to the store for things, she always manages to convince me to go, but the other day I couldn't convince her to go with me, as usual. Thusly, I went to the store for milk, bread, and cheese and came home with that, plus 6 different kinds of muffin mix. Apparently now that I own a muffin tin, I plan to use it frequently (I bought one last Friday so I could make cupcakes for Shannon's birthday instead of a cake, so as to make it easier to parcel out to others). This is why I need supervision.

'the words that he spoke made the people assume there wasn't too much left in the upper room'

So, I saw something completely absurd in Philadelphia. It was this. Dave Ramsey would be horrified. I also think it's funny that it's on clearance.

I finally started to read Wuthering Heights, because I only bought it like two years ago since it's a classic I thought I should read. I am not loving it. It's freaking depressing, and I have a tendency to speak in the style of books that I am reading, so watch out for that and be sure to call me on it. Before my flight back from Philadelphia, I bought Glamour because I didn't want to read the book the whole flight. And from Glamour, I learned this: there is a male designer named Chris Benz, who had some tips, including; 'combine stuff you already own in new ways' (I am all over this, mostly because I don't do laundry as often as I should and then I decide things are good enough.), ' try some wild make-up colors...turquoise liner. It's easier to wear than you think (I am definitely all over this-I use an angle brush, water, and eyeshadow to make all kinds of awesome eyeliner colors. I am particularly fond of indigo and bright blue, as they make my eyes look green. Purple is also good, but dark or at least violet, not lavender.), 'there's something so chic about matching everything-jacket, scarf, tights, shoes, everything. This is not for the faint of heart, but you'll look like a true color genius' (I used to do this, and I don't mean like when I was 6, but like, when I was 20. My underthings always matched too. I was super OCD about things sometimes, but you just haven't lived until you've seen a 19 year old girl wearing the Superman shirt from a set of Underoos with red shorts and blue and red socks and red sparkly tennis shoes-they came from The Limited Too. I shopped in the children's dept a lot, as stuff was way cheaper.). Anyway, it was amusing. Also, I totally typed this post like a week and half ago. I am slow. Also, a five year old told me she liked my 'eye stuff' today. Bright eyeliner for the win! Glad I got that off my mind grapes. ;)

Eewww.

It may have been a poor choice to eat yogurt right after brushing my teeth.

I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

So, apparently they are going to make Heathers into a musical! Now, I love Heathers, and I like musicals (love some), but I am not so sure that these things should meet. I used the phrase, "What's your damage, Heather?" last week (and no, I don't have any friends named Heather.). Anyway, I know it's campy, but it's awesome. If ABC Family channel showed it as much as they show Bring It On, I would be watching it all the time, but alas, I have to make do with the sheer brilliance that is Bring It On. Which I totally make people who haven't seen it watch. I made my friend Kristine watch Boondock Saints recently and she was not impressed. I fear we cannot be friends any longer. Sorry, Kristine. I asked her if she at least liked Bring It On and she was like, uh, yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? I don't know, but apparently they are part of my litmus test for friends.

Also, Shannon is going to NY with her sisters and step-mom and they want to go see a show and she was like, Avenue Q for the win! I was talking to her about it because Mark used to talk about it rather a lot and it seemed like a musical she would enjoy more than others, and now she really really wants to see it. And really, I've not seen it, but what's not to love about a musical that has songs called, 'What Do You Do With a BA in English?' and 'Schadenfreude?'(I love the word schadenfreude-it is awesome. As my dad says, a German word for a German concept. And yes, I know he didn't make that saying up.) Hey Mark, don't you have the book Wicked? Can I borrow it?

"In 1996 God told me to preach the Gospel on cable television in Tucson, Arizona."

I love that this author thought that belonged in her book description; not her about the author, but her book description. Would you buy a book called BIRTH CONTROLS IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!? I kind of love that we live in a world where such a book exists and is apparently written in all caps, and someone on Amazon tagged it 'caplocks are evil.' I really do love it. Also, it costs $135! And someone is selling a used copy, and the description says it was signed by God himself (I can only assume they are making fun of the author, because in her description of her book, she writes that it is an holy-spirit authored tome. Except in all caps, of course.). I think it should be added to all Amazon baby and wedding registries, because I just noticed those buttons and it made me giggle.

I should be working. But I am still amused by the Facebook pirate language 'arrplication.' It makes me giggle. This morning my cousin went from 'tis a long tale,' to being 'marooned.' I didn't even know what that meant, but I do now because Rachel informed me. But it sounds entertaining. And 'manglin' one's 'portrait' sounds way more fun than just changing your profile picture. Also, 'yer scurvy self be appreciatin' this,' is ten times cooler than 'I like this.' It is confusing, but it might be worth it for the entertainment value when people 'demand that ye be mateys.' Also, my wealth of pirate jokes got us a free tin of cookies last time I talked to our office supply account manager guy. Top that! Oh, geez, now I have that terrible rap in my head (you know, the one from Teen Witch, the one they brought up on 30 Rock recently, just when I thought I had forgotten it.).

So, probably none of my family watches Keeping Up With the Kardashians, but at my house, we do. It's ridiculous and they are all horrible to each other, but we do. Anyway, it just came back and the episode was about how one of them had to go to jail for violating her parole by skipping out of DUI classes to go on a vacation to another country. She was supposed to go for 30 days, but got out within three hours because of overcrowding. She took it pretty well, with humor, unlike her family, who were awful. Ans he oldest sister made her go out to eat with them when she got out and then the sister proceeded to get completely plastered, which, nice. They mentioned it on Jezebel and some girl commented that driving drunk is something that 90% of all college students do or have done. That rings very false to me. I have never driven drunk, in college or now, and most of my friends haven't either. I do know people who have, but I think she pulled that statistic out of her butt. And you?

Aaargh

Seriously, Saudi Arabia? Giving a 75 year old woman 40 lashes?! Because a young guy and his friend brought her some bread?! I don't know if that's better or worse than the 100 lashes for the woman who was gang-raped.

I think the problem with the internet is just what Michael Scott thinks is the beautiful thing about the internet: that anyone can write anything they want about anything. And then stupid people read it and take it as gospel. They would say, wind up trying to convince you that potatoes are blue, and it must be true because they read it on the internet. So maybe stupidity is really the problem. Yes, so let's work on fixing that.

Hah! This blog just came in handy at work. We were trying to figure out our AT&T bill, and needed to know what days our phones were down when we had the bad weather, and since I complained about that here, I was able to look up the answer no one else had. Yeah, I am ridiculous...

In which I attempt to branch out, foodwise.

Birthday was good. Had Thai food. Shannon and I went shopping. All I bought was Tylenol Sever Allergy pills. They are awesome. I am feeling better.

And believe it or not, last week I tried sushi (I don't eat fish. Not even cooked fish. The smell is gross to me, and sometimes the textures are too weird. The smell thing, mostly. I think because when I first started getting the migraines, I had one and my mom was making fish and it smelled up the whole house and I was about to be sick, so I had to leave the house. And thus, I do not eat fish.). Real sushi, where it's just a slab of raw fish, not like, the rolls with crunchy stuff and cream cheese or whatever (those are totally ok, by the way). I ate a piece of raw salmon. It was not very good. It tasted like medical supplies smell. That's the closest I can come to describing what it was like to me. But I thought in the interest of giving it a fair shot, I should eat a second piece. So I did. Still medical-y. So, only the rolls for me.

I don't want to be sick on my birthday. That would muck up my plans, such as they are. I'm celebrating tonight with my parents, which is nice. Mmm, cornbread. Time for more sinus drugs!

Fun times at Ye Olde Paneled Palace

Evening, interior, Paneled Palace

Shannon: (walks into kitchen) Did you wash a bowl? Can I use it?!


Lunchtime, interior, Paneled Palace

Andrea: (powdering her shiny face in the bathroom) (listening to Shannon tell a story)

Shannon: (sitting on the toilet lid, eating a breakfast Hot Pocket, telling a story) Oh, dude! (gestures at self, situation)

Andrea: We are so classy! (the two high-five on that)

bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse...

One evening last week, I went to bed. I started thinking about my grandma and started crying and then couldn't stop. I seriously just could not stop. Shannon was at the library and when she came home, I was sitting on the toilet lid, holding a roll of toilet paper. Aside-I do not understand when books talk about people's faces being tear-stained. Even if I don't wipe them away, it's not like you can see the tear tracks down my face. I mean, you can tell if I've been crying recently because my eyes will be puffy or my birthmark will be extra purple. But actual tear tracks? No. Is this just me? Anyway, she was all, but you're just grieving. It was just it was so random and then I couldn't stop it. I'm going to have to look for the picture my grandfather gave me when I was 15. It was of my grandma when she was 14, and it looked so much like me. I was excited that I finally had some resemblance to someone in my family. Now I know that there is resemblance between me and Dave and Mark, but I guess maybe we were still growing and I couldn't see it then.

My grandma taught me how to braid when I was little. Not by sitting me down and showing me, but by giving me a braid and a doll and telling me to figure it out. She did tell me she would show me if I couldn't figure it out, but I managed. She made doll clothes for my Barbies that I loved so much. They were so much better than the skanky Barbie brand clothes. And just think about how much worse Barbie's clothes have gotten. My Barbies had an awesome peasant blouse and a cool flippy tulip skirt and several other good items. When I was 8, my grandparents gave my cousin who is Dave's age the box set of the Anne of Green Gables books. I remember reading the backs and thinking they looked awesome, and my grandma was paying attention. Guess what I got for my birthday 6 months later? Only what became my all-time favorite book series ever! Seriously, you would know how much I loved those books if you saw my copies. And I know a lot of people probably think they are dated, but I think the themes are timeless, but that's a discussion for another time. Right after she gave me those books, she made a doll for me. It was a doll with reddish hair, freckles, blue-ish eyes, and a mouth that turned down a bit and had a pronounced cupid's bow. I didn't even realize until then that my mouth did that. But then I saw what she already knew. It was an awesome doll -not like, a rag doll, but a real doll-it's hard to explain. I wish we hadn't given it away, along with the Barbie clothes. But I still have the memories. My grandma was a wonderful, godly lady. The night she died, my family and my cousins and aunt and grandfather were all sitting around at the house, looking at old pictures, when we found a photo of Mark, sometime under the age of five, wearing what were basically blue lederhosen and a rainbow bow tie. We were all cracking up over this, when my mom got all upset and told us to stop laughing. She was like, Grandma made those for him! We were like, so? If Grandma saw that picture now, she would totally laugh.

And I don't even care to shake these zipper blues

I fear I am losing my mind. For the past week or so, more than a few times I have walked in to the bathroom and realized that my pants were already unzipped but still buttoned. I cannot figure out if I am doing that in the hallway prior to entering the bathroom, or like, an hour before because I keep starting to walk to the bathroom, but then I think of something else I have to do that makes me veer off my original course. I would hope that someone would tell me if I were wandering about with my pants unzipped. I'm choosing to believe that I am doing it moments before entering the bathroom, whilst thinking of something else, and that is why I am not noting that I am doing it. Yes, that must be it.

IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single alien in possession of a good planet, must be in want of a bloodbath.

I don't know what is up with all the Pride and Prejudice mutilation lately, but check this out. This time it is not a book, but a movie, and not zombies, but aliens. On an even more random note, it is being produced by Elton John's production company.

So, it's Valentine's Day. In honor of the martyrs, I present this for your amusement. Despite the fact that it drops on April 1st, it does seem to be a real book, as one can purchase it on Amazon. I know what Rachel's getting for Mother's Day!! Also, if anyone can defeat zombie hordes, it's a woman, specifically Elizabeth. I love you dudes.

Happy Valentine's Day?

Last night Shannon and I got a heart-shaped pizza from Papa John's, purely for the novelty. It was pretty good. It is thin crust, so it's not like regular Papa John's pizza. But it was fun.

Also, here is an excerpt from a conversation we had the other day in the car.

Interior, Shannon's vehicle. Night.
Shannon: Find some music on my sister's ipod. Make sure you put the plug in, but not all the way or the vocals are quiet.
Andrea: Ok. There!...Oops. Oh, got it again! Oh, no. Lost it again.
Shannon: You suck at using my broken crap!

...Everybody!

Is it wrong that I think these shirts are hilarious? I mean, I'm down with G-O-D, yeah you know me! [title! come and join the chorus, the mighty mighty chorus! (sorry for that musical interlude)] I don't think that those shirts are a particularly good way to get people to talk about God. For one, other than the atheist one, they don't even necessarily make you think about religion at all. And mocking is America's favorite pasttime, and those sure open you up for some witticisms. Also, I keep thinking that there should be an 's' at the beginning of some of them. I know, I'm so wrong.

I am not certain I can accurately convey how wrong I think this is. Why would you do that? That poor dog. That must be so uncomfortable. I would think the impact would be incredibly jarring. Also, the way that thing laces, it kind of looks like the dog is wearing a corset. We're not even going to talk about the TMNT dog.

an interlude of ridiculousness

OK, I am, at times, a giant nerd. Although to some people in my family, the following will not seem nerdish, but that's because they are music geeks. I say that in the most loving way possible. Anyway, I was about to quote West Side Story to someone , because somebody was complaining about something here and someone else was like, go somewhere else, I'll buy you a plane ticket. And that made me think of the part in the song America where Anita tells Bernardo she knows a boat he can get on (bye bye!). But I couldn't remember how that song began, so I googled it. That musical was my favorite for a time in my childhood. And the rooftop dance to America was one of my favorite parts. I love that it says 'an interlude of WHISTLING and DANCING,' followed by 'an interlude of MORE DANCING.' I dance around a lot at home. The other day at lunch, Shannon was home for lunch too, and she started to walk away from me, and I did a high kick and discovered I could kick her in the head if I wanted to. So then we both faced each other and took turns doing high kicks just to be sure we both could, if we so chose, kick the other in the face. Yeah, we should probably get out more. To be clear, there is no kicking that goes on at our house. Intentionally, anyway, since we all know animals can get underfoot and make you kick them accidentally. My dancing around rarely includes kicking either, unless I'm doing the Russian man dance. Which never happens. Please remove that image from your head.

Would Nazi zombies be more discriminating as to which brains they would eat?

So, my crick got worse today. To the point where, when talking to someone I must have inadvertently tilted my head and I had to stop and close my eyes. She was like, it's hitting you like lightning, isn't it? That sounds about right, yeah. Anyway, I saw this and it's pretty much the funniest thing I've seen in a long while. Except for something else that I'm saving for another day, but it's really going to be more for Rachel than anyone else. I love that someone decided to use Jalopnik's tips to warn others about Nazi zombies! Also, if you watch this on silent it's very reminiscent of watching a film about zombies. It starts with random footage of everyday stuff, shot at strange angles. The only thing missing is zombies in the background of said shots, wandering about looking for brains to munch on.

We still can't make long distance calls from work. Cell service has been questionable. And our internet was out all day at work, as well as our server for the whole morning. Yeah, awesome. My head hurts. I've had a dull migraine for a week. I keep getting a crick in my neck. I can hardly sleep. I guess I've gotten too accustomed to the amitriptyline because I keep waking up all the time like before. I keep catching myself making the wrinkle between my eyebrows deeper. Let's see, what else can I complain about? I suck. I'm sorry. I feel like crap, physically and emotionally and am having a hard time getting over it.

call me morbid or absurd

I think I might be a jerk. I was reading this article about how Oprah had an intervention for overweight teens and their parents, and when I got to the line, "The purpose of this large group therapy session..." I was like, yeah, it's large, it's a bunch of obese kids! Duh.

Anyway, AT&T is all kinds of down here today. Cell phones have no signal and on the land lines, while we can make local calls and receive long distance calls, we are unable to make long distance calls. Makes our day just that little bit more fun.

She's complicated, like the DaVinci Code, except harder to crack.

Over the weekend, Shannon and I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was pretty good. I know Rachel doesn't care for nudity in movies, but seriously all the nudity was male. Which is unusual, but it was also pretty weird. I think it was just there for the funny factor. It was actually a better movie than I thought it would be. But then, I have low expectations for pretty much all movies now. There were some pretty funny parts, and I now want someone to write Dracula: The Musical. There were also a couple jokes about Kristen Bell's career that were not wrong, and she took it well. And as ever, Paul Rudd and Jack McBrayer were terrific and can just about do no wrong.

Is anyone else tired of all those Taken trailers playing all the freaking time?! The first time I saw one I was like, that looks terrible! The second time I was like, why is Liam Neeson in this movie? And now, the more I see them, the more I want to watch Liam Neeson kicking some butt. It's rotting my brain, and I haven't even seen it!

I have a Flexeril hangover.

Ugh. I so did not want to get up this morning. Not even a little. Last night I had a nasty migraine, as far as those things go. My jaw was so tight that every time I opened it, it made noises. So I took a 10mg Flexeril. Then I took some more, plus an Imitrex. Yum. I was finally starting to feel better when Shannon was like, oh no, maybe you shouldn't mix those with amitriptyline! I really didn't care by that point, because all I wanted to was to be less-pained enough that I could go to sleep, but she was fairly concerned that I was going to sedate myself to death or something. Which, obviously not. Also, either I'm so stressing that I am overcoming the sedating effects of said amitriptyline, or I am just accustomed to it now, because I haven't upped my dose in a while and now I keep waking up at night. I was really enjoying sleeping like a regular person for a time.

A lot of good cars are Japanese...

Did anyone watch the Duggars' show last night? I've only watched the first half hour one where they plan the wedding so far; the hour-long wedding one is going to have to wait until this evening. Anyway, if you did watch, did you think that weird man who was their waiter was messing with them? Shannon and I were like, he has to be messing with them, he must be, unless he's just really weird. And then he invited himself to the wedding and started talking about tantric dancing and how he would wear a pastel leotard. Then we decided he was definitely messing with them and was just incredibly good at doing it deadpan. Right?

I was doing jazz hands, but it doesn't really translate in a photo

So, here is a photo of me and the purple tights. They kind of look blue here, but they are in actuality very purple. Also, I straightened my hair. I am unsure how I feel about this.

This is the apple-tini I had tonight. Apple-tini five!!

Blepharospasms are fun...not

I just got the urge to go, "Psych!" A wife of one of the VPs at work just asked me to be her FaceBook friend. I quickly scanned my FB page for anything inappropriate. Don't worry, I am in the clear. This blog is not linked to my FB. And I only say weird things ont here, not actually inappropriate things. Although, I saw the movie Unfaithful in the theater with this lady, my dad, and her mother-in-law (which, AWKward!). I think she might know me well enough to just be like, yeah.

Anyway, I am doing the Financial Peace University at church and this Sunday was the first session. They want you to do a basic budget and they have a suggested one to help you get started. They apparently think cable costs $21 a month. Umm...yeah, times six! But then, we do have not just the basic, plus the DVR, plus the cable modem. Maybe you can get basic for $20. I do want to downgrade the channels we get, but I am keeping the DVR and the cable modem. We don't watch half the channels we have, but Shannon wants to keep Showtime until the season of one of their shows is over. And Showtime is totally the suckiest pay channel. They don't have any good movies.

So you're telling me we have a new president, and he's BLACK? Double check that, that can't be right

Woot! Woot Bitches! That's right, no more George W! I finally voted for the winner, plus did you hear that inaugural speach? Brought tears to my eyes, seriously he's awesome.

I showed the LDS men my underpants!

I know that I haven't conributed lately, but I felt compelled to share the latest humiliation from the paneled palace with everyone. Sunday evening while Andrea was attending church I took advantage of my alone time to take a bath and then lounge in my underpants and a wifebeater. Around seven I heard a tap on the door, assuming that it was Andrea arriving home I shouted over the Kanye West song blaring from my computer "Are you alone?" When I heard a tap in response I gathered that she had her hands full and bounded loudly to the door. Without looking out the curtain I pulled the door open to be met by two clean cut young gentlemen in suits wearing backpacks. My jaw dropped while I slammed the door and shouted, "SHIT" at the top of my lungs. I guess that now it would be pertinent to share that the aforementioned wife beater was fairly sheer and left little to the imagination.

I dashed to my room and threw on pants and a zip up hoodie that I heald together rather than fastening. I returned to the door praying that I would find myself alone on the front porch. No such luck, I was met with two shiny faced LDS missionaries with a copy of the Book of Mormon hoping to proselytize.

"Is Eric home?" asked the leader of the two not meeting my shameful gaze.

I responded that no one lived here by that name and proceeded to try to get rid of the uninvited guests. They had come over looking for a previous member of the local church while they were in the area but since they found me they figured they might as well try to get another convert under their belts. Being completely mortified I couldnt bring myself to be my usual charming self that normally sends LDS missionaries running for the street as quickly as possible. Ten minutes later the visitors left with our names in a little notebook and Saturday at 1:00 pencilled in as a time to come and visit.

This weekend Andrea and I are going to allow these gentlemen into our home, while fully dressed, and ask them questions. After reading Under the Banner of Heaven we are both brimming with questions about their faith. Should be a hoot.

Happy Rex Manning Day!

How freaking adorable were President Obama's daughters' coats? I want both of them. The coats, not the children. And how sweet was that letter the Bush girls wrote to the Obama girls? Way to go with being nice to little kids. Shannon actually wound up taking lunch while I was at lunch, so we were chatting and she is super excited because it's the first time the person she voted for actually got sworn in. She was a little punch-drunk on happiness. It made for a fun lunch. Also, Joe Biden's mom is adorable. I love how they had blankets piled up on her. Old people are so cute, and vulnerable to the cold.

I don't have to work tomorrow. It's a good thing too, since I'm not even a little sleepy and it's way past my bed time.

...I'm still wide awake. I was Free Rice-ing it up. I don't have any books that I feel like reading. There's nothing on TV. And I just checked and there aren't even any marathons on tomorrow. The only holiday I get that I'm actually not out of town for and there's not even a piddling House marathon. Come on. Throw me a bone here!

Shannon and I went to breakfast at Mary's and saw a man wearing assless chaps over his jeans. I'm pretty sure I'd never seen someone actually wearing those.

As promised, pictures of the dungeon

Just so you know, this is not the first time we've had to go to the dungeon, it's just the only time we've had to be down there for more than 2 minutes. Let the tour commence!

This is what you see to the left when you come down the stairs. I have no idea what those wires are or why they are hanging there.

This is what is on the right at the bottom of the stairs. The dark mass is where a pipe comes up and ends. It comes from nowhere and goes no where.

This is what you see directly in front of you when you come down the stairs. This is where the pipes we need to kep warm are. That blue thing hanging down is an old towel shoved up there to try to insulate them. The wood is blocking the door to the backyard (not a real door, but like, a crawlspace kind of midget door, because it doesn't start on the outside until at least halfway up that piece of wood.). Our landlord has a habit of half-assing things. A man after our own hearts.

More creepiness.

This is the back. It's what is under our dining room. It's somehow creepier back there, where the ground is piled higher and weird stuff is sticking up. Also, note the cement blocks under the poles. Ugh.

You remove this kid's eye, he's only going to be half as good at not making eye contact.

Yeah, so the pipes in the kitchen froze yesterday. But an extension cord, a hair dryer and the dungeon helped unfreeze the part down there, while a space heater in the cabinet unfroze the top. So the water was running again by 11 last night. Yay! Also, our dungeon is super creepy, not to mention the poles that are held up by cement blocks that make me kind of nervous as to how precariously the house is held together. I'll try to remember to take a photo down there and show you guys, since Mark is the only one who's ever been to the Paneled Palace, and he didn't even see all of it. Doing dishes in the bathtub is easier than doing them in the kitchen sink in some ways. The amount of room you have, for one thing. Anyway, that was just about the perfect end to a crappy week. Score. I have five blankets in my living room. I bought none of them. Why do people give other people throw blankets as presents? Especially when none of the people who gave me the blankets had ever seen my house or my furniture. Yet all but one of the blankets go really well with the furniture. Although matching is not something we are overly concerned with here at the Paneled Palace, it's just a plus (to me, at least. I think Shannon doesn't care at all).

It's like your parents never forget your past stupidity

I turned on the TV at my house a few minutes ago. There was a picture, but no sound. After doing a few minutes of troubleshooting with no luck, I called my dad. The first thing he said was, "Well, the remote for that does have a mute button." Seriously, Dad?! I am not a moron. I am aware of the existence of mute buttons. I used to use them all the time before I had a DVR. I would mute and then turn on the closed captioning when the phone rang or whatever. I checked the mute button on the TV remote, the cable remote and I even checked the DVD recorder (the cable runs through the DVD recorder, which runs into the TV) remote for a mute option before I called him. I also tried turning off those three devices and turning them back on, and I even pulled out the DVR and checked the connections in the back. I have not been my father's daughter for the past 26 years for nothing. Which he learned after he started making suggestions and learned I had already done all of them. So I wound up unplugging it for a minute and that seemed to reboot it and it works now. But, seriously?! The mute button?! No.

Also, I just watched Shannon put what had to be more than half a cup of sugar on the bowl of Chex she was about to eat. Color me disturbed.

I am wearing the purple tights. ;)

it will expand a little

So...last night was weird. Or maybe not really weirder than usual. Also, I went somewhere Saturday and was talking about this, forgetting that I didn't really know the one girl and she looked totally shocked. But that is insane. And funny, but also really not funny, since it undoubtedly would help save some women's lives, or at least a beating. I think my favorite part is that it appears to come in packs of two. And they are cheaper when you buy two or three. And that "you will pass through undetectable." Hilarious and sad.

After spending five hours at church this morning, I came home and put on my PJ pants and Shannon and I watched stoner movies, many of which feature Fred Willard. Anyway, I just went outside to move my car so she could take hers to get us some Fazoli's for dinner. I went to find a pair of slip-on shoes, since it's cold and came up with one blue plaid one and one brown leather one. As I was walking out the door wearing PJ pants, my grammar t-shirt and white socks with ladybugs on them and mismatched shoes, I was like, dude, I think you are rubbing off on me in a big way (she spent the better part of the day wearing vertical stripe PJ pants, a black tank top, and a horizontal stripe cardigan, with a houndstooth coat added when she went out to smoke-we are classy dames). To be fair, some of my stuff is rubbing off on her too. I've got her saying 'balls,' enough that her sister has picked it up too. ;)

Am I too old to wear purple tights? I bought some because Shannon was with me and she was all, "Yeah!" And I was thinking they would work with this black dress I have, but now I think perhaps not. I don't know.

a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth

We are looking for my replacement at work. Three girls were interviewed; my supervisor was telling me yesterday that we're going to put an ad in the paper, which is something we didn't want to do. I asked her what was wrong with the ones she interviewed and she said, "They're ok. They're just not you." It made me laugh. Seriously? Apparently she enjoys how I speak without pausing to think whether my comments are stupid or snarky. Or whether they are appropriate for my audience. If you need examples of my stupidity, they can be provided upon request. Eh. I'm working on it.

Argh

My taste buds are back. Just in time for me to burn them with some chai. Oops. So, I know you kids know about how I have that weirdness where sometimes my eyelids get red and puffy and start peeling. It used to be only in the winter, but now it's just whenever they feel like it. I have had a couple of different prescriptions for it, some from my regular doctor and some from the eye doctor. Neither of them seemed to know what really causes it, but that didn't stop them from giving me corticosteroids and antibiotic ointments. Both of which really help, but since you should not use those for long... Anyway, when I went to the dermatologist a while back, he was also uncertain as to what it is (Which, seriously? Why must I have such ridiculous skin problems that even specialists in that area can't identify?! The eyelid thing is actually not even the first time I've had a derm be unable to identify something.), but he gave me some Protopic samples, which is something I'd not been given before. I used some for the first time last night and I woke up because my eyelids were burning. They're still burning now, even though I totally washed my face. I asked Shannon what she knew about Protopic, since she was a pharmacy tech for years and also sometimes has medical problems. She said she'd been given that to put on cystic acne. That makes me want to never put it on my eyelids again. And since the doctor gave me samples of it, I didn't even have the info inserts to read, so I looked it up. Apparently after applying Protopic, you should wash yours hands unless that was where you intended to put it. Also, burning, itching or redness are common side effects that go away after using for a couple of days. Really? I'm supposed to continue to put something that my skin is obviously protesting on my person? I think not, although it depends on how masochistic I am feeling at bedtime.

Two songs that made me happy just now

A classic silly song, of course.

And this song was the backing for our sermon series bumper video a couple of months ago and I kept forgetting to look up what it was. I really like it.

When I was sitting in the airport in Boston today, they played How Bizarre. That made me smile because the first time I went to Boston, approximately eleven years ago (for a week long mission trip), that song was on the radio every time our group got in a car. It was almost like our trip song.

I should spend more time with the dog...

I went to Boston. It was cold. I came back. It's cold here. I think traveling alone gives me to much time for introspection. I know I've always been very self-conscious, but that doesn't mean I'm always self-aware. I mean, I know that when I get excited or worked up about something, I get loud and I tend to talk faster. And I know that I'm almost incapable of talking without using my hands (seriously, even on the phone sometimes). At my work Christmas party we played Catchphrase, which is pretty much the opposite of charades, and when other people would start to use their hands, everybody would be like, no using your hands! But I used my hands pretty much every time and no one said anything to me. I think maybe it's because they know my hands are almost as important as my vocal folds in my speech. Anyway, for some reason whenever I start thinking too much I think about the New Year's Eve episode of My So-Called Life when Angela is talking about how she thinks she thinks too much and that she should stop, but then she's like, well, then I would be shallow. I feel like I've mentioned that before. Or maybe I just thought about it. I was telling Shannon how I think I'm ill-equipped to judge other people's levels of weirdness because I think I'm weird, but I am unsure as to precisely how weird I am. I mean, my own father told me I'm eccentric. He wasn't being mean or anything, but he wasn't completely kidding. Whatever.

I did absolutely nothing yesterday. And it was totally awesome. I read two books and we watched the marathon of The Secret Life of the American Teenager that was on ABC Family all day long. I kept checking the weather reports, and finally decided that since there is still a 90% chance of snow in Boston on Wednesday, I should book a flight leaving Tuesday evening. At least this way I can be certain I will get there. This does mean that I will have to do laundry tonight and start packing up so I can finish in the morning before work and not have to come back to the house, since that's not on the way to I65.

Oops

So I managed to accidentally chew up my amitriptyline last night, which made my tongue and the roof of my mouth numb for about an hour. That was disturbing enough, since I figured the worst that would happen was that it would taste bad, which it really did. But now nothing tastes. It doesn't taste bad, just not really at all. It's very disconcerting. I can only assume it will get better within a few days...

New Year's was fun. Second one we've all spent with Dave and Rachel now. And I'm such a lucky kid that I got two grammar books for Christmas! I'm such a giant nerd and everyone knows it. Mark, Ashley, and I stayed up late Thursday night watching Half Ton Mom, Half Ton Dad and Half Ton Teen. It was so disturbing. Mark did give up by the time Half Ton Teen came on. We were all having trouble wrapping our heads around how anyone could possibly eat 30,000 calories a day. And also how someone could weigh 700 pounds at 19 years old. Seriously? And I have now seen Twilight, and apparently I am the only person around who doesn't find the dude particularly attractive. Also, it seemed to me that he spent more time concentrating on masking his accent than he did on his acting. I did covet Kristen Stewart's hair, though.

I have to go to Boston either Tuesday night or Wednesday. I haven't booked my flight yet because I was trying to wait and see if the weather forecast would change and it would be safe for me to fly out on Wednesday, rather than on Tuesday because there's a chance of snow Wednesday, thus a chance of flights being cancelled or delayed. It's hard to think about snow when it's 63 degrees out. I have stuff I need to do at work, so if I can go Wednesday it would be most helpful.